Two years ago we hooked up. To be honest I was looking to you to fill a void in my life. I spent a little time trying to repair that void myself, but without much luck I ended up turning to you. We started out fast–upgraded, international flights here and there and even though things were shiny and new we were content to spend most of our days together at home. Granted, we each had our own space but aren’t the best relationships like that? I really thought we’d go far together, so I am sure you can at least try to imagine my astonishment when you ran out on me last month. Even more so to do it at the airport, as we were about to get on the plane! I mean what did I ever do to you to deserve that? Sure, longing for the one before you may have caused a strain, but I was getting over that. It had been two years for God’s sake, I was committed to YOU! What’s even worse is that I can’t even pinpoint the vaguest reason why you’d wait until we were at the airport to jet out on me…just after security, before I put my shoes back on? Why? Why then? Was it the hint of superiority I exuded after skipping all of the long lines at Dulles, using my Premiere flight status to my full advantage? Minor infraction if you ask me. Plus I know deep down you enjoyed that perk too. Hell, were you offended by the odor of my feet as I removed my shoes to step through the metal detector? It’s not like we hadn’t done that together a handful of times before. I just don’t understand. I saw the older gentlemen behind me, and I saw they way he looked at you. Was it him? Was the thought of staying with me so atrocious that you decided to just leap into his arms, leaving me stranded?

You, of all people, leaving me at the airport before our trip to London. It’s…it’s unacceptable!

And do you know how much trouble you’ve gotten me into with the State Department, my job, TSA????

Yes I am still renovating. Yes, it’s true that the kitchen is still not finished. After halting all work for June (too much travel) I am gearing back up again for a renovation session this weekend with the family.

I believe I left you with a big pile of granite tile in my living room. Well, those tiles are now permanently residing as my countertops and that shiny Kohler sink is officially installed. The glass shades for the overhead pendant light fixture were also finally purchased. So things are starting to take a turn for the pretty.

The installation for the counter and sink took three days–one and a half that I was present for. Mad props to the family, they are amazing.

DAY 1 - We started on a Saturday, ripping out the old Formica counters and cutting the substrate to fit. This was tough because it was pouring outside which meant dear old Dad wanted to make the plywood cuts indoors. Circular saw + plywood + my dining room was going to equal a mother load of sawdust. And I am still battling sawdust from refinishing the freaking cabinets, so needless to say I was getting a little worried. Plus, I had to leave the install to go attend Buggie’s Graduation BBQ and who knows what fantastical things they might have decided to do in my absence. Fortunately, there was a break in the weather, so they were able to make the plywood and backer board cuts outside. Phew.

While brother and I headed of for the party, Mom, Dad, bother-in-law and little sis all stayed and cut and fit the plywood and backer board in. So for the next day, we started with this (look how big the space for the sink is!):

DAY 2 — We started by marking the cuts on the tiles. We would turn them over and run a pencil along the cut line and then tape off the section of tile that need to be cut away. The countertop opposite of the one in the picture above is almost a perfect square without any cutouts so we started there. My Dad cut all the tile himself, save for the pieces my brother did towards the end of the day (not that we didn’t TRY to have Home Depot make two tricky cuts for us, but they were, shall we say, not helpful in that area).

After all the cuts were made we dry fit the tiles into place to make sure everything was kosher and all nice and even. Most of the cuts were right on, just a few needed some shaving either on the tile saw Dad was manning outside, or the hacksaw my brother was using for the slimmest of cuts. Once we determined that everything was going to fit, it was time to mix the granite mortar mix. A project little bro and Mom left me and Dad to take care of. Looked simple enough, the instructions were in the form of a pictogram (which I should have taken a picture of, but didn’t). The pictogram showed a measured amount of water to be poured in a bucket and then the mortar mix to be added to the water, and then constant and vigorous stirring for a specified amount of time–thusly creating a type of cement. We measured the water and poured it in the bucket. Check. Dad lifted the 50lb bag of mortar mix and started pouring it into the water-filled bucket while I stirred in a very witch-cauldron-stew kind of way. Check check. Before Dad got half of the bag of mix in the bucket it became obvious that if we were to continue, stirring would immediately have to stop, for there was clearly not enough water to keep things liquidy and the cement, she was getting harder by the minute. We added some unprescribed water and continued our quest, only to hit another cement wall, literally. Dad and I silently determined the pictogram was bogus and we were officially going to do this off the cuff. I added more water.

Dad (yelling): What’s this stuff supposed to look like?

Mom (referencing her bank of HGTV knowledge): It’s supposed to have the consistency of peanut butter.

Dad (looking into the bucket as I am stirring): Chunky or Smooth?

Mom:

Me: Giggle

It’s obvious that we are too loose for peanut butter, so we add a bit more mortar mix in, much to my chagrin because damn, this shit is hard to stir. And the prescribed stir time is something like twelve minutes so every time we tinker with the recipe we start the timer over.

I lift up the stir stick (we are using a broom handle) to test it’s consistency, and it’s a little drippy. Dad tells me to keep stirring while he adds a little more mix in and again restarts the timer.

Me (tiring fast and groaning): Dad, you stir. My abs hurt. (Seriously, you had to stir with your whole body)

Dad (taking the stick): Wuss

After a minute and a half Dad is sweating. He tests the consistency, it’s definitely thicker, but it’s still a little drippy. Dad wonders aloud if peanut butter would drip off the end of a knife. He then determines, aloud, the no, peanut butter should not drip.

Me: Not true! My natural peanut butter is very drippy.

Dad (yelling): Is it supposed to be like natural peanut butter or the regular kind?

Mom (yelling): What? How the hell should I know!

Me: Giggle

Dad’s stirring is slowing so I take over. It’s getting thicker. We start taking two-minute shifts. I try to entice my freakishly strong brother to come stir, he takes two turns around the bucket and hands us back the stick. This shit is hard. I mean have you ever mixed cement by hand? Heysoos. Here is the bane of our existence that day:

So we finally get to peanut butter stage. Now it’s sloppy time. Using a 1/4″ x 3/8″ x 1/4″ trowel we slap that stuff on the counters and start laying tile. That apparently is a large grooved trowel, good for getting a good grip on the tile, but hard to make adjustments once you’ve laid it down. So we spent the next hour pushing and wiggling to get our lines and corners straight.  Mortaring is oddly like frosting a cake. I like it. I take pride in making nice trowel lines.  Can you guess which picture shows my mortar job?

Oh my gosh, once we straightened everything out, it looked amazing! After all the tile was laid down we taped down the areas that might decide to move on their own…just so we didn’t run into any surprises as the cement dried overnight.

Day 3 — Now it’s Monday and I am at work, but the family is over at my house finishing the install. The tiles need to be grouted and the sink now needs to be installed. The grouting goes fine according to my mom’s play-by-play text messages. It’s the sink that causes a bit of a hullabaloo between the bro and the dad. Apparently it’s not the easiest thing in the world to go from a shallow-depth, single basin sink to a two basin version that is double the depth. Seems that new and confusing plumbing fixtures are needed. And as I was informed via screaming in the background when my mother called to confess their difficulties “[THEY] ARE NOT PLUMBERS!” Who knew?

Well they might not be plumbers, but they are geniuses and of course they figured it out and when I came home that Monday night, oh my god. It was amazing.

Here is a side by side of the before and after:

Next: This weekend that linoleum floor gets ripped up! More demolition, woo!

You can read up on My Kitchen Renovation (MKR) that has been slowly eking along by clicking here.

I am late in posting and low in mileage.

Thirty-five and change miles for June.  Not a good total for the official start month of marathon training.

Two things happened:

1.  Travel. I had a trip to the UK for work early in the month, but I had a plan–short, but frequent runs while I was away. I was even going to treadmill it if I had to.  Many, many things went wrong with this trip, to say the least.  The sum of these things resulted in 12+ hour days and complete mental and physical exhaustion.  So there was no running, at all, that week.

2.  Ouchy.  Two weeks ago I was out for a long run, a 12-miler on the Custis trail that was eventually headed to Upton Hill.  So basically straight up for 6 miles.  Well my calf only lasted 3.5 before I got the first hint of the stabby pains that have coincided with past calf injuries.  Trying to be smart and avoid a real injury, I stopped, tried to stretch it out (to no avail) and decided it was in my best interest to turn around and walk home.  I took a couple of days off, iced and such but two days later I could only get a mile in before the stabby stabby came back.

So, having been through the drill before, I took two weeks off to let the muscle fibers reweave themselves–hence sucky June mileage.  Now I don’t know what to do to get back on track with training. It’s obvious my body won’t let me overdo it, but mentally this is going to be hard. I’ve never been injured during training before.

I hit a decent four miles this evening w/o any pain so I think my self-prescribed time off was a good thing.  Now all I need is a plan.

Happy Bugeatah to all July 3 babies!

OMG Dan Koeffler just said to me “Good morning, if you are jsut waking up”.  Uh…I am just getting in? Is it still good morning to me? I donb’t know who Dan is, he is early morning man.   Did you know that Miller Light Chill is sweet as shit?

I am waking. Not tired.

[BUG] I am tired. I am sleeping.

Harumph.  I have no bloging partner.

I think I shall try toi embrace my tiredness.

Stool softner. FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Do not watch television at 4:30 in the morning.

tHE END.

Go Twins.

HOROSCOPE: LEO

Your friends and family might look to you for guidance now, but not necessarily for motivation to get ahead. Instead, the laid back Taurus Moon suggests a day of pleasant relaxation and rejuvenation. You can set an example for others today by doing what makes you feel good, whether it’s watching a movie, lying by the pool or taking a nature walk.

So I made the family head over to the Metrodome this afternoon for the last day of interleague play.  Well I didn’t so much as make them as I mentioned it to my grandmother as a possibility and SHE convinced the ‘rents that attending today’s Twins v. Brewers game was a must do. (Have I mentioned how much I love my grandma?) But last-minute tickets, awesome left field seats, a pre-game all-Mascot t-ball game*, and some kick ass nine innings made for a ridiculously pleasant day.  Especially when those nine innings meant a complete game shutout by Slowey, a stand up triple by way of a foul line hugging line drive, and Young’s two-run  HR dropped into our section. Oh happy day.

*Twins mascot T.C. has invited his mascot friends to participate in the annual mascot softball game prior to Sunday’s contest against the Brewers. Mascots planning to attend include Apple and Bee (Applebee’s), Wilbur the Pig (Famous Dave’s), SPAMMY (Hormel), Moe (Minnesota Daily), Thor (Minnesota Thunder), Crunch (Timberwolves), Viktor (Vikings), Starman (Star Tribune), Subman (Subway), Toucan Harry (Treasure Island Resort & Casino), Patches the Panda (SPIRE), Airman Andy (United States Air Force Reserve 934th Airlift Wing), Goldy Gopher (University of Minnesota), Peppy the Pizza Slice (Broadway Pizza), Roy (Bethel University), Alfie the Liver (American Liver Foundation), Fairborn and Fairchild (Minnesota State Fair), Colonel Ohmoopapa (Valleyfair), Bullseye (Target), Spirit (Qwest) and special guest Bernie Brewer from the Milwaukee Brewers.

Seriously the most pre-game fun I’ve ever had (outside of Joe Mauer getting stretched), I mean when Alfie the Liver took a face-planting dive into home plate for the tying run…hilarious.  Twins are now 8-0 in mascot softball.

Has anyone else noticed the airlines recent tactic of guilting passengers into paying attention to the safety video?  Do the flight attendants still even do the pantomime routine in conjunction with the video or are they just going with the little passive aggressive stabs made by the people on the video?  God, I really don’t pay attention to those things at all, do I? Although I do hear the not-so-subtle jab at our guilty conscious’ at the beginning of every in-flight safety announcement–hear it, and perhaps feel the tiniest twinge of guilt for about a nanosecond before I go back to reading my book, a trashy magazine (for you can’t read Real Simple or Women’s Fitness on the plane, nope just pictures of gorgeous clothes and accessories or paparazzi-filled pages will do) or trying to figure out the, what seems to be, anti-terrorist lock on the freaking water bottle I just purchased from Hudson News.  Shit, I’ll even read the in-flight magazine detailing the brand of soft-drink available to me at a safe cruising altitude before I watch that safety video again.

Well it seems United Airlines has turned to using extreme aural stimulation in addition to shame in order to force passengers to pay attention to the flight safety instructions.  On my most recent United flight, the safety video was so loud I literally could no longer read.  (Although I could write, hence this post you lucky Internet people you.)  The volume started out reasonably enough, but apparently there were not enough of us rapt with attention watching the United Colors of Benetton actors pretend to blow up life vests on the tiny screens above our heads, because about two minutes after the start, the sound was cranked to rock concert-like decibels. I imagine our little Lemming heads all turned up at the same moment to look at the screens (or more precisely to look for the origin of the offending noise) and lo, the noise (read: volume) went down.  Lulled back into normalcy with proper volume-levels, I assume all of our heads then went back to what they had been doing, that is NOT watching the video. And that is precisely  when the volume returned to it’s previous ear-splitting level and that’s where it remained until the stupid…er…informative video was over.

I know, I know the video is for my own good.  God forbid I trip over someone trying to exit the plane the wrong way*, I mean clearly Row 10’s nearest exit is behind them, but it would be just my luck (and my due for writing this post) that I would trip over that person from Row 10 and thusly impede my progress to MY nearest exit in the event of a water landing (although I seriously doubt any commercial aircraft in use today is capable of actually landing on water. But I suppose that’s neither here nor there considering we all know that landing is the farthest thing from what the plane would be doing in that scenario).  Anyway, I do not think my doctor would approve of the tactics employed by United Airlines. I know that my seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. No, I will not inflate my life vest inside of the plane. Yes, I will help any small children traveling with me only after I’ve helped myself.  I do look behind me and compare the distance of that exit to the one in front of me. I won’t freak out when my oxygen bag does not inflate and I have done enough yoga that I can put my head between my knees in the event of that unwanted water landing.  Just please don’t make me deaf and force you to bring back the pantomiming for my deaf ass.

*But seriously God forbid that I am ever forced to exit a plane other than by jetway or rolling stairway.  Not trying to tempt fate here, just yell back at the on-board staff controlling the volume this evening.

Sixty-seven and four tenths miles for May.

The spreadsheet worked! I stayed on track and didn’t go overboard (risking injury) like I did last year and perfectly upticked from last month’s 47. Woo.

May got me up to 9-mile long runs. Finally, runs of substance…feels like it took so long to get past 4 and 5 milers. Although the 9.5 I did this past Saturday was the suckiest of the suck. Looooong uphills, heat, humidity and back again. I felt like ass for 5 miles and then it was awesome and I felt amazing later. This is good, as I have a 10-miler on Saturday to mark the official start of marathon training so I have really start getting psyched up for the 7am Saturday training runs.

May introduced me to a new running partner. JessT has finally succumbed to my whining and has now met me for 3 or 4 early morning runs. It’s awesome because we have two totally different approaches; she runs under the theory of “the faster you run, the faster you are finished”, where my long-distance training comes into play even for 3-milers and I find myself pacing and reserving energy for the first 2 miles. Not productive. So she keeps me on my toes and is teaching me to have faster starts.

May also saw the addition of a new runner in the crew. Laura B has officially joined the running ranks and, I believe, is looking for a kick ass 5-K sometime in September to mark her foray into the sport. Suggestions?

Here’s to no more twinges, no pain, comfy shoes and 20-mile weeks in June!

Oooh and stay tuned for the next post: MKR: The Counterop Edition
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Am still working on that pesky kitchen!

So last weekend I was in Boston for this girl’s graduation from Boston University. Way to go Bugger!  (She has been (cum) lauded here by JessT.) Not being deterred by my non-presence, the family came over and worked their free labor magic by installing some über cool custom cabinet organizers in the lower cabinets, re-hinging some of the doors and adding the new cabinet hardware as well.

They also delivered the new sink, the faucet and went to pick up my oh-so-gorgeous granite tiles - all of which is now sitting in my living room practically burning a hole through the floor because it’s all just so damned pretty and I can’t stand it anymore! Can a sink be pretty? Mine is! Here is the photo off the Kohler website. However, my sink will be paired with the faucet pictured below from Pegasus.

The sink is freaking HUGE! HUGE! It’s going to be so amazing once it’s installed. Has anyone ever called a sink “amazing” before? Well this one is. I special ordered a wire drying basket for the sink basin on the left, it’s formed to fit the funky, curvy shape. I also bought a mini cutting board that fits over the bottom portion of the sink. Am trying to save counter space which is at a high premium in my small, galley kitchen…so even though my new sink is WAY bigger than the old one, it will allow me to take the dish rack off the counter top next to the sink, giving me an entirely new space to utilize and make dirty! Woo!

Went shopping with the ‘rents this weekend at Lowes to pick up the makings for the substrate (that is backerboard and plywood), the mortar mix, the grout, new plumbing accouterments needed to accommodate a double sink and a water filter that installs under the sink and gives you filtered water right out of the unadorned faucet. Which means…

…counter tops and sink go in this weekend!

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Cannot express how happy I am. I lost my camera recently, but will try to get the family to bring one so I can take lots of pictures of the install.

Read all previous My Kitchen Renovation (MKR) posts here.

You may or may not remember my lovely, articulate office receptionist. If not, you can read about her here. She is so brilliant that a certain somebody was inspired to start a spoof blog from my non-receptionist’s point of view.

Anyway, sometime this morning she announces a call to me from a company called Software Acomma* a frequent  exhibitor of ours.  The conversation unfolds as such:

Non-receptionist: Marci! Jan Crofton from Obama for you!

Me: Who?

No-receptionist: [Getting excited] It’s from Obama!

Me: Ok? (which is her cue to put the call through)

Me: Hello, this is Marci

“Jan Crofton”: Hi, this is Kristin from Software Acomma. I had some questions about your upcoming trade show.

Yeah.

But instead of fuming like usual, I was hysterically pleased with this exchange. Perhaps it was the glee in her voice when she thought Obama’s camp was calling me.

*I changed the name of the company slightly to protect them from any harm from having been associated with Barrack Obama, me, my non-receptionist or Baby Bananas.

The 2nd annual Battle of the Boulevard was this past Saturday…yes the rainy Saturday.

A local race starting in Clarendon, heading due north down Wilson Boulevard, through Courthouse, Rosslyn and down Rt. 110 and back to Clarendon. Back the same way you came, that is, uphill. So 3.1 miles downhill and 3.1 miles up. To be fair things level off a bit when you get to 110 so I guess that counts as a rest? But it’s a good race; cheap, nearby, quick, fun, and you get a good t-shirt. Well last year it was all of those things. This year, not so much…

Cheap? Yes. Still just a $25 entry fee. For a field of 2,000 runners, that’s pretty good, usually the bigger the race, the more expensive it is. Plus considering the t-shirt this fee makes things practically even.

Nearby? Yes. Well, nearby to me. If it hadn’t been raining I would have walked to the start. Preferring to start the race dry, I drove in and huddled under an awning at the Pacers store until the gun went off.

Quick? Yes. Running marathons and half-marathons has changed my perception of what constitutes long. 6.2 miles is an hour long at my pace (well 59 minutes 46 seconds this year!) and seems really quick in the grand scheme of things.

Fun? Meh. The race boasted some stellar sponsors (Lucky Brand Jeans, Whole Foods, to name a couple) as well as a post-race party. And what do the words “post-race party” mean to the average person? Food and drink and entertainment. Ok, so there was a sound stage with music. There were a plethora of bottled waters. There were tables and tables of bananas. And that’s where the party ended. Who has a race with just bananas and water as the après race food? I was on a mad hunt for granola bars, bagels, something! My plan was to eat breakfast at this thing. I finally stopped at one of the 10 banana tables and asked a Whole Foods rep if there was anything else to eat other than the yellow fruit that I am allergic to, and she said she HAD 2,000 power bars but they were long gone. GONE? I was back at the start within an hour and no carbs? What brand of idiot brings just 2,000 granola bars to feed over 2,000 people? Did I mention that there was a 2K walk, with their own set of participants, happening in conjunction with the race? Yeah. Bad move Whole Foods. I blame the race organizers too (Pacers)! Last year, Mister Days had a whole BBQ thing going, there were granola bars for days, bagels, juice, Gatorade (don’t get me started on the Gatorade this year, an hour and half after the race begins and they are out of the carb juice), plus tons of booths from area merchants and groups.

So, no breakfast to be had, I decided to stroll along the vendors to see what Arlington has to offer that I am probably missing out on, I mean the race organizers (Pacers) told me there would be a “Wellness Festival” after the race. Six or Seven tables is not what I call a Wellness Festival. All in all, post-race was totally lame. If the race got a 100 last year for being fun, this year it got a 15. Yes, it was that bad.

Good t-shirt? Kinda. It was still a Brooks technical shirt, which is like gold in the realm of race shirts. Cotton is the suck when it comes to running more than 4 miles and technical shirts are not cheap so it’s tre awesome to get one “free” with your $25 race fee. Thing is though, the design was crap. Not that last year’s shirt was a work of art, but it was in full-color. The 2007 shirt was black with a large, colorful imprint of the race graphic on the front. This year’s shirt was red (points for color), but included just white text on the front. Where is the color? Where is the art? Why just boring, ugly text? It’s obvious that the race organizers (Pacers) lost some sponsor dollars this year, either that or over spent last year’s sponsor money and toned things down to stay in budget this time around. Word to the organizers (Pacers), skip spending the money on the sound stage and get some carbs for the people!

I would be pissed, I really am a huge fan of free granola bars, but I ran 9:39 minute miles when I have done zero speed training and I wasn’t doing this race to race, but just as a training run that fit nicely in my schedule even though it was all uphill at the end. So I guess I am happy. But it had nothing to do with the race organizers (Pacers).