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BNF – Banana Night Football

November 30, 2008

With the game on and turned up, I also was Twittering on the laptop. But with it being a good game and all meant that I just had too much to say for that low-character venue. So here I am, live-blogging the second half (and the last two minutes of the first half) of the Vikings/Bears game.

Annnnnddd go!

Madden references the penalty on Berrian as a “horse collar’s horse collar”.  Michales doesn’t know what to say, so he repeats it.  Ahhh, Maddenisms.

And here comes Kleinsasser, surprisingly he doesn’t leap over anyone to get in the endzone-just stumbles backwards.  Beauty. I’ll take it.

Score: 17 – 7 (MN)— less than 2:00 in the 2nd

Wait, it’s being reviewed. And it’s coming back. Official says the replay dudes put the ball on the quarter yard line.  Michaels does the quick math for us imbeciles in the viewing audience and translates that to inches. Thanks.

Score 10 – 7 (MN)— less than 2:00 in the 2nd.

OMG. Quote of the night:
Michaels: “Looks like he got at least nine inches…and he did.”  Poor guy.

Score: 17-7 (MN)— Halftime

Why are they pimping Brad Pitt on the HalfTime show?  I feel like Costas was holding back snide comments during that promo.  Let it out Bob! Let it out!

Oh what a sad state of affairs the NFC North is…battling for first at 6-5?  If it weren’t the Vikes, I would be ashamed. Ok, I am still ashamed but I won’t complain.  You people do realize that the only reason this post is being made is because I am all by myself watching the game and I basically got tired of talking to the television.  I really need to get out more.  I am sure a certain Hammer would have watched this game with me.  Speaking of…you up for a field trip Hammer?

Anyone in for the over/under for when I start typing “Git ’em! Git ’em!!!!1!!!! TAKE HIM DOWN ALREADY YOU )(&#$)(&*#$”?”

And here is where I start counting how many times Madden mentions Peterson’s speed: we’re up to 5 (at least)

Fuckity fuck.  Turnover, tipped ball right into the safety’s hands.  Is another goal line stuff too much to hope for? Yes, apparently it was.

Score: 17-14 (MN)— 8:53 in the 3rd.

So that was a waste of good field position. And poor Kluwe, dude can’t find his way out of a touchback to save his life. So close, yet so far.  Maybe he should stop trying for the 1 and aim for the 8.  Just an idea.

MN interception!  Madden chastises Orton for not reading the cover 2.  Idiota! Although the view from the QB cam definitely shows Sharper all over that play.

TOUCHDOWN! After Peterson stiff arms a dude to keep his carry in the positive yardage, Taylor takes it on the next down all the way into the endzone.  I can definitely get used to all this purple scoring. Yay!

Score: 24-14 (MN)— 4:22 in the 3rd.

Ok, who did Madden just call “one of the better strippers in the NFL”? DAMN IT! I missed it and I don’t have a DVR.  They are still giggling over it.  John Madden just spent a good minute of airtime talking about a dude’s stripping ability and I don’t know who he’s talking about. Boo. I’d like to see that, unless it was a lineman, then probably not.

Another useless set of downs coming off good field position. C’mon guys, no need to make us sweat it out. I mean seriously, it’s creeping past my bedtime here and there is still a quarter to go. I am lame I know, but you already know this as well.

Ok so here we go, crappy field position — this means we score, yes? No.

Did anyone else know that Gus Frerotte spells his name F-R-E-R…? WTF.  When did that happen?  This entire time (all 86 years of his carreer) I thought it was F-E-R-O-T-T-E.  Whoops?

Can someone give me the stats on how many times an end around works? Because seriously with that much time spent in the backfield, it just seems so anti productive.

INTERCEPTION! STRIP! FUMBLE! Who’s ball is it?  Ack! Ruling on the field: Minnesota’s Ball!  YESSSSSSSSSS.

OMG, yet another Madden quote: “He was never taught high and tight.”  Maybe he should go talk to the guy who got the nine inches earlier, that might learn him.

Blitz! Oh, Taylor keeps it up the middle…dragging a few guys, almost there.  Sigh.  Almost. 2nd and 1.  Oh baby but we are in on 3rd and 1, even with 12 dudes lined up on D.  YEAH BABY, SCORE!

Score: 31-14 (MN) — 8:25 in the 4th.

(Mouth agape) ANOTHER INTERCEPTION! That’s three in the last seven tries by Orton. Holy mother of football. Woo hoo! Michales now points out that the boy had not thrown an INT in his previous 205 passes.  Sucks to be him.  Rules to be us. Ooh Michales is giving us the key to the game.  Oh, yeah I agree…it was the in the 2nd quarter. A goal-line stand right after Sapp made a flagrant personal foul at the end of a 3rd down play that resulted in a new set of downs, thusly setting up a four down stuffing and then a Frerote/Berrian 99-yard TD pass. It really was gorgeous.  That was about the same time I started getting loud mouthed toward the television and sat my ass down at the computer.

Could be a porno: Longwell Bangs That One. Or it could be Al Michaels letting us all know that MN just nabbed a field goal.  Take your pick.

Score: 34-14 (MN) — 4:18 in the 4th.

I wonder if sometimes when on the field and having that split second decision between doing something bad that will get you fined (but ultimately innocent, like using the ball as a prop in celebration) and not doing it do you choose the fine because WTF, it’s worth it?  I wonder if anything that was going to cost me thousands of dollars, and I had control over, would ever be worth it in my mind.

Score: 34-17 (MN) — FINAL
Yeah baby.

Goodnight sweethearts, well it’s time to go.
Goodnight Frerotte, you beat our foe.
I like Chicago but I really must say
We own first place toni-ight.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 1, 2008 8:10 pm

    Ah Marci…

    Your mind is hopelessly in the gutter, but then I guess we knew that ever since your post about the Dirty Sanchez cookies, didn’t we?

    I caught the game on TV too and did my fair share of hollerin’. Here’s my theory. After Gus Frerotte got clocked, he forgot he was Gus Frerotte and spent the rest of the game convinced that he was, in fact, Batman. Makes sense when you think about it, ‘cuz NO WAY can Gus Frerotte launch a 99-yard touchdown bomb. But you know who can?


    As for future games, I’m pretty sure the NOVA Vikes fanclub is still active, so I imagine we can schedule something on one condition:

    No more Sha Na Na references, I beg you.

  2. December 22, 2008 3:49 pm

    Minnesota sucks.

    Go Faulcons! Caw!!

  3. December 28, 2008 10:38 pm

    Phil – NFC Championship rematch? We owe you a loss.

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