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It’s been one week…

October 6, 2008

It’s been one week since a lot of things.

It’s been one week since my quads felt like they had been shredded like an old pair of jeans.

It’s been one week since I had my last nightmare.

It’s been one week since I took a nap on my couch.

It’s been one week since the Vikings lost a game.

It’s been way longer than a week since I last wrote.

It’s been twelve days since my co-worker, a friend, was murdered.

All of things that had been swimming in my head kind of vanished that day.  For weeks I had been meaning to post an update on my kitchen.  I had traveled to New York, Chicago, Tokyo and back.  I had given away a $60,000 Mercedes as part of my job. I had the most horrendous professional experience of my life.  I was reunited with my road-tripping best friend.  It was confirmed that both my mom and my dad are suffering from arthritis. The Twins were on the verge of sweeping the White Sox to move into first place.  When Gini was late to work that Thursday though, none of that mattered.  I went out for a run that day during lunch time — with still no sign of her and the police on the way to her Falls Church apartment — and I prayed and rationalized during the entire seven miles that her absence was going to be something stupid, she stepped on her cat, fell, hit her head and was knocked unconscious.  This is totally something that would happen to Gini. I pictured it happening. I hoped with all hope that this was the case. I don’t know if I had ever hoped for something so silly before.

It wasn’t long after lunch before we were told that she had died.  Actually we were told that there was a woman found deceased in her apartment.  We weren’t told it was Gini, but we weren’t told it wasn’t either.  It was within the same breath that we were told that the death of this woman was “suspicious”.  A term that would later come to mean, death by blunt force trauma.

Gini and I did not socialize outside of work functions really.  This was for no other reason than we had different vibes about us…she and I just weren’t meant to be buddies like that, but it doesn’t mean that we weren’t friends.  It doesn’t mean that I didn’t know her.  We worked together for 5+ years.  Even if you aren’t trying you get to know a person, you do so by default working next to and travelling with someone for that long.  If you do try, even a little, you can get to know someone pretty darn well.

I know that she loved sweets.  Chocolate iced Krispy Kremes and pink Starburst being her two favorite sugary snacks. I know that she had an unabashed addiction to Diet Coke.  I know that she had a child-like faith in Jesus. I know that she misheard things a lot. I know that she found this to be most humorous. I know that when she laughed, really laughed, her arms would start to float up a bit. I know that she thought of fluffy animals from time to time.  I know that she still used Sun-In. I know that she was extremely particular about who cut her hair and how much came off at any given time.  I know that she was a pack rat. I know that she was a tailgaiter.  I know that she was supposed to wear glasses when she drove, but rarely did. I know that she was always late.  I know that on days when she had an early flight, she would wake at 3 or 4 in the morning to make sure she had time to do her hair and get to the airport on time. I know that her mom called her every morning to wake her up.  I know that she prayed between bites of food. I know that her favorite color was purple. I know that her dream bedroom was filled with prisms, light and thusly rainbows.  I know that she overheard things a lot.  I know that she loved wooden platform shoes.  I know that she hated being excluded from happy hours, but rarely had time to join them due to her church obligations.  I know that she took tons of vitamins.  I know that she kept all of her vitamins as well as assorted OTC medications all loosy goosy in a very large vitamin bottle and if you happend to ask her for, say a Tylenol, she would dump out the contents of the bottle, fish out two pills and gladly hand them over. I know that she had a perma-stash of carbs in her bag–crackers, granola bars, candy–enough to save dozens of people from diabetic coma.  I know that if she was running too late to make her shuttle, she would rather drive to work and pay $16 in parking fees than wait in a questionable area for a bus.  I know that she had a certain paranoia about her, about her safety.  I know that she steered clear from any type of shady. I know that if hotel room service knocked on her door, she would look to confirm and even yell through the keyhole if she wasn’t sure before that door was opened. I know that she didn’t take her well-being for granted. I know that she didn’t deserve this.

It’s been hard for me these past twelve days.  And I feel so selfish saying that, she was part of my everyday, my wallpaper, and also a diversion, a novelty. She was not my daughter, my rock, or my inspiration…but she was that to others and I know their loss must be so devestating.  Though to look at her mom, you can’t help but take strength from her — she has such faith and was taking such joy in seeing her daughter in this way, through others.  I am still trying to grasp the concept that someone I know has been killed, on purpose or at least at the hands of another.  I’ve stopped hoping for things, they keep not coming true in very ugly ways.  So I just know they will find out who did this.  I just know that he will be punished.

Me and Gini - Boca 2008

Me and Gini - Boca 2008

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Bug permalink
    October 7, 2008 12:15 am

    I love you Marce. I am so sad for Gini and her mother and her friends. I can’t comprehend it so I cannot imagine what this process is like for you and you ARE my rock, my sister, my best friend.
    They’d better find who could do this, who could do this to someone like her.

  2. October 7, 2008 6:19 pm

    Thanks darling. Thanks for being around this week, you are my tether to reality. Your post the other day on this made me cry. HEART you.

  3. October 9, 2008 7:56 am

    Sending lots of prayers for you and Her family!! Your post made me cry!!! 😦 Sending hugs and love, comfort and peace of mind for you!!! love you!!

  4. Matt permalink
    October 9, 2008 2:15 pm

    This is really awful.

  5. October 10, 2008 7:44 am

    I second Harmony, made me cry too. Also allowed us to really get a glimpse of the Gini you knew that no internet article or newsclip could catch. Thank you. Love you.

  6. Megan permalink
    October 17, 2008 10:22 pm

    Howdy darlin,
    This is so totally gini, it really made me smile. With tears in my eyes. The only thing that helps me is what you said — you know she’s in her palace with mirrored fountains and rainbow prisms surrounded by fluffy animals. Miss you!

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