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“Nudie magazine day! Nudie magazine day!”

May 30, 2007

Ok, so it’s not really nudie magazine day, it’s actually speakers-at-an-exorbitant-cost magazine day.  This is a day I love.

See, when the sports marketing and speakers bureau folks pimp out their wares, they send it the form of a catalog in a sort of yearbook style.  Some of the more well-known companies (think IMG), put a lot of thought into who goes on what page, in what order and with what caption–they have to, you know these egos have to make this kind of thing extremely political.  It is when this particular style of catalog arrives, that D-Mac and I like to go through it and mock people–whether it be the person being pimped out or the management company itself.  Mocking is fun.

Take for example the “Sports Legends & Superstars” page in the IMG catalogue.  This is the page that comes right after the “Headliners” page…so we’re talking big bucks, big names.  No offense, but Greg Louganis will not be found on this page. So who do we have first in the line up of sports legends and superstars?  Eli Manning.  Yup, he is IMG’s greatest sports legend that is not a “headliner”.  And no, Heather, his cuteness (and I use the term loosely) does not count as legendary.  Who did he beat out in IMG’s unofficial ranking of top sports legends?  His dad (who is second in the yearbook catalog and not just because they share the same name…the alphabet does not apply here).  Eli’s mug is also recognized in front of Phil Jackson of Lakers fame, Bill Russell (an NBA legend), Mike Ditka (!!!), and Don Shula (who, in his photo, looks like he is solving a quantum equation) among others not as glaringly upstaged by some two-bit, non-champion, NFL quarterback with a “headliner” brother.

D-Mac and I also thought of  new category for them to offer: Mustachioed Speakers.  Because seriously, they deserve their own category…

mustachioed.jpg

I mean, I bet the mustache alone could entertain a hour long business luncheon. Well, maybe if D-Mac and I were attending.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 30, 2007 12:59 pm

    They only put Eli up there so he wouldn’t cry, throw a temper tantrum, and ask to be traded back to San Diego.

  2. May 30, 2007 1:03 pm

    Wait, wait, wait. Someone would actually pay to have Eli Manning speak at thier function? Are they all companies in northern Jersey who pay specifically for the right to heckle him until he pees his pants on stage?

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