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BPS

May 8, 2007

pavano31.jpgBPS – Battered Pitcher Syndrome

Not to be confused with SPS (Shelled Pitcher Syndrome) of which John Patterson, Tony Armas and Jeff Weaver are currently suffering.

No, BPS is much rarer. In fact, I only know of one case.  That of one, Carl Pavano.

In lay terms, BPS is a reference to any pitcher who, because of constant and physical abuse by a teammate, manager, owner, batboy or groundskeeper becomes depressed and unable to take any independent action that would allow him to escape the abuse. The condition explains why abused pitchers often spend inordinate amounts of time on the Disabled List or fail to make legitimate attempts to leave the abusive situation via trade, retirement or what have you.

Hard to diagnose, BPS is quite uncommon but in the presence of undisputable violence and injury and months, nay years spent on the DL, Pavano’s case is quite easy to diagnose. 

I give you the facts:
2007 injuries: Elbow strain, forearm tightness, bone bruise to the foot.

2006 injuries: Bruised buttocks (that’s his ass people!), 2 broken ribs, back soreness, bone chips in the elbow.

2005 injuries: Rotator cuff tendinitis and other undisclosed injuries.

This history of (of just these reported) violent injuries leads us to just one conclusion, the New York Yankees have been abusing poor Pavano for years and if not stopped, we risk seeing more cases of BPS coming out of New York.  It might be too late to save Pavano, but we have to think of future pitchers, healthy pitchers. The Yankees are on a path to send every last one of their other hurlers into the despressing depths of BPS; look at Mussina (hamstring), Hughes (hamstring), Karstens (broken leg), and the recently returned Wang (hamstring and split fingernail).  The Yankees must be stopped from their battering abuse!  Watch out Clemens!  You might just end up with mallet finger.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. May 8, 2007 8:48 am

    Taking pity on the Yankees pitching staff is like taking pity on a blackjack dealer when he busts.

    You should be ashamed of yourself.

  2. May 8, 2007 10:57 am

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Carl Pavano has the heart of the jellyfish. The slightest bit of discomfort and he’s on the DL, meanwhile Johnny Damon is flying back and forth to Florida on his off days to see a chiropractor just so he can stay in the lineup. Carl Pavano deserves to be battered. He had it coming.

  3. May 8, 2007 11:37 am

    Hammer – I am not a fan of the Yankees, you know this, but abuse is abuse. 🙂

    Eric – Not that all this chiropractic care is doing Damon any good. He’s still sucking. But you do bring up a good point, at what point do you say the abuse is warrented? A valid question.

  4. May 8, 2007 2:09 pm

    NO no no!! the Yankees hired a new trainer this year and he was roundly criticized right out of the gate for his approach. That was where the hammy injuries came in. Karstens got drilled with a line drive. (As soon as it hit him I said “watch, he broke his leg”

    Carl Pavano has never pitched for the Yankees. Ever. I’ve thrown more games in the past 3 years than he has. He just does not want to play. Period.

    You should come to the happy hour next week and we’ll discuss it over a significant amount of alcohol.

  5. May 8, 2007 4:39 pm

    Yes yes yes, Pavano is a bust, he is the quinessential bust of all time I think. But his injuries are just so freaking extensive and odd that I couldn’t help pulling the comparison to a battered spouse. Do I get no points for humor?!?!?

  6. May 8, 2007 7:04 pm

    tee hee hee. I can’t agree more with Hammer!

  7. May 14, 2007 1:53 am

    You see my Sox take over the O’s in the bottom of the 9th? Best ending ever to a weekend

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