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The NFL Playoffs – who will kick it first?

January 8, 2007

And by “kick it“, I mean which NFL playoff coach do you think will suffer a heart attack or untimely death first? These are not healthy people, I wonder if there is a line for this in Vegas…

Bill Belichick’s Patriots at Marty Schottenheimer’s Chargers

My pick: This one is hard. While Schottenheimer looks like he could fly offf the handle at any given moment, I think Belichick’s steely resolve could mean he is a seether. Seething does nothing for your health. On the other hand Belichick is probably too smart to get himself killed. Ok. Schottenheimer wins loses this one. He’ll be the first to go.


Mike Holmgren’s Seahawks at Lovie Smith’s Bears

My pick: Lovie Smith. It won’t be a natural death–but the city of Chicago will come after him if Grossman keeps sucking like he has been and is not benched.

Tony Dungy’s Colts at Brian Billick’s Ravens

My pick: Tony Dungy. He has been battling Nicole Ritchie for the Eating Disorder title for quite some time now. Add the suicide of his son last year and a history of post-season implosions; he is way beyond the help of just eating a few cookies. This man needs a SuperBowl ring or a sabbatical.


Andy Reid’s Eagles at Sean Payton’s Saints

My pick: Andy Reid. First of all Reid is a heart attack waiting to happen. I’ve never seen the man eat, but I can’t imagine it’s pretty. Plus, Payton is no competition. It’s his first pro season as head coach and he is on this amazing ride that led his team to a first-round bye. No pressure. Reid LIVES in the pressure cooker that is Philadelphia, it’s almost a blessing he’s playing on the road…considering their fans and the Eagles’ history of post-season losses.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. January 18, 2007 2:14 pm

    Dollar says you’re wrong about the top two and right about the bottom two.

    I will now go outside and play “catch” with Troy Williamson.

    No, scratch that. Looks like I’ll be playing “drop” with Troy Williamson. My bad.

  2. January 18, 2007 2:14 pm

    I sure hope that the Eagles can win against N.O.- but that will be a tough one. Makes for a great game though. Saints- Giants would have been BORING.

  3. January 18, 2007 2:15 pm

    Bill Bellicheck was the first guy to bench Bernie Kosar. For that, he deserves a slow horrible death. Also he is a little chubby, if you’re gonna be fat BE REALLY FAT!

  4. Marci permalink
    January 18, 2007 2:15 pm

    Hammer – You think by the time they die, we will be able to remember that you owe me/i owe you a dollar?

    Also, let it be known that T.O. dropped more balls than Williamson. Not that it’s any consolation.

    SportsChick – So glad the Giants are out of it. The Eagles were the only East team worthy of a playoff berth. God, the NFC sucks.

    Lucky – Who is fat? Outside of Dungy, isn’t Belichick the “fittest” one on this list?

  5. January 18, 2007 2:16 pm

    Lovie is always so zen on the sidelines– his hypothetical death would totally have to be at the hands of a Chicago mob, which I hope will be completely unnecessary! 🙂

    Andy Reid is, in fact, a heart attack waiting to happen.

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