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I heart it with a big uncircumsized penis

July 16, 2006

I do.(M)

She is talking about my new handbag, which is ever so cute. Geez, typing is hard. That sentence took an hour to perfect! (And ha! I said hard. after she named her entry… Dirrty.) BUGGG

I only talk about uncircumsized penises? penisii? because she made me look at Google images.!!! Of them…the uncircumsized. (M)

I made her look at circumsized ones too. (B)

Well I claimed I had never seen one. I guess it’s not that easy to determine. Or something. I dunno. I still say clip that shit. (M)

NOOO. I say leave it alone!! pooor babies, all traumatized already don’t need no snipping. BUT should the father decide his son needs the cut, then he is welcome to it, and also to tend to the wound, because until that shit is healed, I HAVE NO SON! (B)

o dyou want to be pregnant, dont’ you”?? (MP) What is with the fucking Militaryu Police? I can’t type an “M”? WTF? (M) OOh picture time. Am I pretty?

Um, Yes Marci, you are a fucking knockout. Now shut it. Penis. (b)

Shut the Penis? Ow? Ow! Right? Pretty penis. (M)
I dunno. I ain’t got one. But I do need a date. With a manly man. I do not have a chicago hottie to look forward to. Tramp. (B)

I am so not trampy! No tramps to see…keep walking (M)

Marci thinks she is Military Police. But she is no authority figure. NO. Wanna see the wine we are enjoying? Cause it is so goooood. (B)

She says I don’t look 10,000 years Old. I say I have a line in the middle of my face. She says I don’t have a line on my fucking face. What am I lying? Fuck you Marci. I do too look 8,000 years old. (B)

See, she dropped just 2,000 years in the spacec of one sentence~@!@@!! She is a liar.! She is hot, right? MY WIFE IS A FUCKING HOTTIE! (M) No poilicve.

Ok Whoa. I do not know what she was trying to get across there, but apparently she wants you to think she has good taste. MY WIFE IS HOT! But her’s? Meh.. Or should I say, SMOKIN’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah! Bitches, slide in on that. I make her look at uncircumcized peniiii. And she does it! I rule! (B)

She rules me is all I know. I will look at the peniii, it’s true. I peek through … I can’t make this soiund innicent at all. Fuck. (M)

Heh. (B)

Pictures? Yes. NOOO!

Fuckin’ Blogger. Marci proudly denounces it as a cicimsized bitch. (B)

Meh! Mwh. Mejuhyreihf. bLOGGER HATER ME AND i HATE IT HE FUCKER TOO. ()

Wow. (B)

C’mon? Thar’s all you got? You aibn’t sober beeyothc. Bring iot. (M)

Marci is a pirate ya’ll. no, I ain’t sober. I almost fell over in the bathroom, washing my hands. High Life!!! NO, not Miller Marci. More wine. We are gonna have to go to red soon. Damn, three bottles deep. You gonna spoon me tonight? Because I am so lonely. (B)

Ok I was in until the last line:? Lonlet? OOh, sounds scary…can I handle it? I heart the spoon. And I don’t mean the utensil (M)\

It sounds scary, because lonely= more than spoon, right? Buut not in this house, babycakes. Bernard takes all that shit. He does. Yes. He loves it. Bernard is a whore. (B)

Blogger no appeove of our photgrAPHIC evidence. They be censoring us bitches!!!!!!! Oh!!! (M)

Hehehehehe/ she makes me laugh. and larf. I feel like writing for a bit. Bear with me. Jewel thinks everybody needs someone sometimmemmememmememem. two three four. I need someone. But someone cool. Marci is gross. She is talking about someones bapotao pants. By that I mean potato apants. Um. If I shake real cute will you give me sugar? Or a million bucks? Huh, will ya? Would you do that for me? I was inj an onlne pretty contest once. Does that make me special? No? FUCK YA! (B)

ME? Should I give you sugar? 4yeesssn SAys Buggie Cuzn I got sugAR to give, n you are hot. mmm yes yoiuare. (M)

I got a ton of splenda. You interested? (B)

Maybe if you ring my bell? Ha. HAAAA? Oh my god I cracj myself up…………..Fucking yeah bitches. I love drooler. (M)

Maybe you should stop thinking about you doorbell. I almost drolled n her/ That was me. And the white stripes are influecing her head. Yessir. I liked him in that movie with the cold mountain. It was just so cold. Not brokeback mountain. Jeez. Marci likes naked gay boys. I though they looked like muppets. Is something wrong with me? (BUGGGIE FOREVER)

Wromng? Yes. For sure. Yep. No fieurn doubt. Ypu are forever in my life. And you touched me with yer boobs just now. A!!!! AgIN AND gIN~! (m) nO CONCENTRtion. BoooooooooooooooooooooobsQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (M)O

(B)Not A, C!!!!! C’mon! Marci lost the back of her chair. bUT THERE it was … gone. I love marci, nx try to show her with pressing of C boobs ,,,, but hse thinks of gin? No. Unsatisfactiry. Hmmmm. Is she gonna spoon me or what. She used to without hesitation. But now… She is too saucy for me. Just kidding. She is saucy enough…. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sh eis saucy like BBQ. Zesty. Tasty. I no think of Gin with C boobs on my arm. Gin is no good. Vodka. Is good. Wine os good too. Wine like C & D boobies. It like wooo. boobies together. We likey. All faMILY AND FUN. Shhhhh. MY GLASS is freakin empty! (M)]

Her glass is not empty. No. (B)

Well no…..geesh….not anymore. She good wife. The non-blonde. (M)

That is true. I am not blonde! Wassup! It freaks everyone out. Apparently I am supposed to be blonde. The people at my church tell me I look like hell. I say thanks a lot. You are swell people. Kisses to you. (B)

SHE NOT HELL LOOKING> I kilol the,m. THe people the church. She s hot wife. Hottest wife on planet. We are forgetting about all assholes of our past. Only cheery futures for us and hot…ness….love..mmm .yeah. Oh. (M)

I would like to be flirted with by a non-married fella. (B)

Married peoeps are bitches. No try to kiss me or shove tongues in mouhts. What up woth that shit? Fuckers. I talk to you about your wife and at the end of the night you try to kiss me? BAH!!! Done. I hate. (M)

Me too. I hate. I will kick you in your face.a dn then poke you witha sharp stick in your testicular region. NO> Stop itr. You must talk so big to make up for smaller things. Thanks Xtina. (B)

Free! Kill the ghosts. Go Anna Nalick. Wine and music. Good together like me and the Bug. (M)

OMIGOD!v She is so right, -the errant v…. Aw. I have the best best friend in the world. I first typed frined… I love her sooooo much. We have our occassionally flare ups, but that just makes us better, I think. So, this may be sappy, but I have no idea where I would be without her. I need my baby banana. (B)

Bananas need Bugs you know! It’smtrue. Mush. All much central here. Nothing tos ee. Move along. I love her. What can I say. She is the best bug ever. Even among non bugs. She the best.. (M)

A bug flew in my eye today. (B)

Did it die> (M)

I believe it’s life was snuffed amongst my eye fluids. (B)

YOU CRIED IT TO DEATH? GOD that is sad. You cried your family to deTH. You are not crying now. Even with Fiona and the BaD day song. (M) but I thinkthe bad day song is happy.

Um. It was a gnat, I beleieve. But I never found out. This song is not happy but it is empowering to women. I am talking Fiona’s song. I am not in love. I can’t stop falling out. I hear ya, Fee. I can call her fee, cause we are all tight and shit. I MISS THAT STUPID ACHE. Bah. Men. Love. Suck igt. Hmm. Ashe is no. She is bitter like me. I love Fee. (B)

I used to be bitter. I am still. A teeny bit.. Wee bit. But hearting boy in Chicago. Makes me forget about crappy boyness. How does that happen>? Boy. Comes. Nice. Calls. Calls you pretty. You forget and melt? How does the cycle continue? Bitterness rules the fucjing world. Ask IsrAEL. (m) mE NOT a politico,\

I am bitter. Am not a politico. Am a popolitico, though. No, I will quote nothing. But I am bitter from ex, and I am bitter from idiots who hit on me when I go out. Nothing good. And I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry to the really nice guys that I am simply not attracted to. So, I will wait. And sit at home where my chances of meeting a great guy are the same as my chances of having talking to talk to an idiot who deems me a bitch within 22 seconds because I won’t let him buy me a drink (BUG OUT)

Boys are dumb. I know. I mean soooo dumb. Is there anything dumber than a boy trying to hit on a girl? Shit it has been years since I had a real boyfriend. Dates. Even those dates ended up dumb. Holding out hope though. I wonder. Frequntley in that makes me dumb girl though? I doon’t wanna be that dumb girl. I don’t feel dumb and desperate. But I wonder (MP) POLICE! YeH. Every breathe you take…..oh yeah

Naw, you ain’t desperate. You just right. I am too bitter. Too angry. Too jaded. Sad for me. I will never give the guy the chance. (B)

Ypuve always been the jaded girl. ALWAYS! Why? Imean 10+ years of it. I wonder. You deserve it most of all (M)

Some peopel should just be alone. That’s life. (B)

Why do people date anywat? If it’s al for nothing. Does it ever work out. I don’t thinkI know anyone who is really happy. REALLY. For reals. (M)

Aw. People who love for real are cooll/ b

Cool. (M) We'[re cool.

You know I think I would be happy to see anyone I have ever known, whatever level… happy with someone. (B)

Pearl Jam concert will lift any spirit. (B)

Even if the Vetter writes about depressing shit (M).

She means Vedder. But She stills is sincere in her love (b)

edddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddie(m)

hoo hoo hoo hooo hoo hoo hoo hoo oooowwhoaaaaaaaaa. (B)

Spoke in. spoke in. Uh huh. uh huh. (B)

Sigh. I feel spent. Mmmm. What song is next? (M)… … … Jewel… About long distance./ That is for you Marci and him. You know HIM> (B)

I don’t know bout ni long distance. But I did have to change my phone plan. (M)

Whoa. That is huge. She would not do that for me!!!! She wants to make his toes curl. He’ll be her only boy and she’ll be his only girl. (B) Damn, it is so sweet I need to go to the dentist.

I never went over my minutes with you, wife. That is the beauty of work-time phone calls. This one, the Cubs Fan, loves to call me at 7pm. JUST under Cingular nights and weekend time. I am in so much debt next month. Ouch. (M)

Ask her about her savings account. Suck it. In debt. (B)

Which TOTALLY got broken into to pay for WVAness.!!!!! $1000+ credit card bill for JUNE! JULY is even more, and it’s not even due yet. OUCH broke hurts (M)

Um, how much is repaid by work. WV was cheap. She is rich.Don’t let her trick you. FOH REAA (B)

Pretending everything’s ok. Michelle. Why you love me like that? Bug! YOu love me likethat? You wanna be alone? I don’t. I like you rcompay. I’ll throw some diamonds at you. I will. (MO()

Love me or leave me, baby, don’t lead me on. But I love your company too. (B)

The naked married couple says Love is EASY. The naked ones from WV pool. They say you don’t have to work at it. I call BULLSHIT (M)

Maybe it should be easy because you WANT to work at it. ? (B)

Wanting to work at it is different than HAVING to. Right? I am not off on that. Love is work. But the good kind? Shit. I dunno . What do I know. Pretty much nada. (M) totally nada

Don’t ask me. I have been in one real relationship that turns out to have meant nothing at all. So I know nothing. What I thought I felt was a ruse. So I can tell you what fake feels like., It feels kind of real. But only for you. (B)

Fuck maybe real is for suckers. Let’s all go to LaLa land. Wooooo. In my head. In her head. Woo. I cna’t stop typing “wood” But i have friends with wonderful imaginations. I am going there. I will ride their rides and kiss their dream boys. And run around like Puck (M) BugField and CLussyLand come to mind….

I don’t wanna be foolhardy. I don’t want another one to catch me. But you can’t go around with the expectation that they will hurt you, but I can’t help it. So I hide out. Lemme alone. And don’t judge me when I am sad being alone, and don’t judge me for being alone. (someone)

Bitter is for suckers, too. We need to stop with the bitter. We are cute. Smart. Funny. We deserve it all. Bitches. You betta recognize. (M)\

but are there creatures out there deserving? Capable of giving us what we need? That was somethng I used to hear a lot… “I can’t give you what you need.” )B_

I don’t know why I have an opptomistic nature with this crap (sometimes), but I think you are Super, Bug, always have….you are the most deserving of the whole (oh god I have to spell some shit) shegang. Shebag. Shebang. ??? Chibang? I dunno, that girl rocks. And she’s always been jaded. And I always tell her to hold out. And I am wrong. A lot. But not about the deserving part. (M)

Wait. Jen. Hi. Love you. S’all. (M)

I love Jen too. (B)

I am too sleepy to contemplate all the fan-flippin-tastic losers I could spend my life with. Unfortunatley I would rather be alone/ than with a lose.r. But I like Mr. Cubs-fan/ AND THJAT IS HUGE CAUSE SHE IS MY WIFE FUCKWADS… I don’t share so good. And Tom Cruise and Joseph sMITH and L Ron Hubbard are fuckwads. (BBBBB)

You share fine. I drakn half your wine, didn’t I? FuCKWADS are for assholes. (M)

Sleeping with Bernard time?> (B)

Is there spooning involved…w/o the ugly monster-thing?(IM)

I’ll hold him.(B)

I’ll hold you? (M) We are all even? I don’t touch the monster, ruight?

Naw, he is true to me. He is mine mineminemine (B)

DeaL

g’NIGHT. fOLKS.

m OUT

b OUT SOO TIRE, D … aND NO DATING TIPS PLKEAESESE. SO BORESD WIRTH NDATING. AND DATIG TIPS. (bp

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. July 16, 2006 4:59 am

    You two are adorable! Um, what is the crazy monster thing?

  2. July 16, 2006 8:35 pm

    Drunken blogging from the two best drunks I know. Awesome! I love you two.

  3. July 17, 2006 11:52 am

    So this definitely didn’t happen at Marci’s…

  4. July 17, 2006 2:41 pm

    I feel like I need to get wasted in order to understand this!

  5. July 17, 2006 3:22 pm

    You realize of course, that this post will come up in the search results (perhaps even quite high) for just about every subsequent spelling-mistake-laden google search for pr0n on the internet, catapulting your site stats into rarified air indeed.

    I swear, you Arlington chicks and your Thunderbird…

  6. Anonymous permalink
    July 17, 2006 4:28 pm

    I freakin’ love the drunk blogging posts. And I get a shout out! Score! Jen

  7. July 17, 2006 6:26 pm

    Law-Rah! You can see Bernard on MY blog.
    Aw, Velvet, you’ll have to join the party sometime.
    The drunken blogging always happens at my house. It would take wayyy to long to drunken blog over the text message device on the cell phone. (Marci does not have a ‘puter at home.)
    Hell, Sweet, we were wasted and STILL have no idea what we were talking about. I like the part where we are singing to you guys. That was a nice little concert intermission, no?
    Jen, every time. Every time.

  8. July 18, 2006 12:16 pm

    I really give props to any of you that actually read this.

    Really.

    That’s some hard stuff to get through. Whoa. And we totally drunk blogged karaoke. How did we do that? We are sooooo talented.

  9. July 18, 2006 4:41 pm

    This reminds me of a conversation between the Incredible Hulk and Bizarro Superman.

  10. July 18, 2006 5:36 pm

    I’m co sonfused.

    🙂

  11. July 18, 2006 6:01 pm

    Phil – Which one of us is Hulk and which one is Bizarro Sman?

    Mappy – it’s ok, I am confused too and I was an active participant.
    I think basically were were saying that we think the other is pretty damn good lookin and dating sucks and guys suck (except for Cubs Fan) and wine is good and Buggie loves her monster thing, Bernard. Oh and we like to sing along to the music.

    Only it took us two hours to say it all because we drank 3 bottles of wine.

  12. July 18, 2006 7:37 pm

    The drunken blog posts always crack me up!

  13. July 19, 2006 8:23 pm

    Maybe Buggy is Biz. Supes because he had an uncircumcised penis, opposite of the real Superman.

  14. July 20, 2006 12:14 pm

    I love answering emails from guys in webdate*com when I’m drunk. I can say the devilish things and they actually love that.

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