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I am the worst 10-year old ever*

April 12, 2006

If your ten year old self came to visit you, right now at this moment of your life, would he/she be impressed or disappointed? I’d have to say my kid self would be pretty nonplused. To wit:

~ I only have cake for breakfast on the days after my birthday and only then if someone actually made me a cake. Considering I am under no adult supervision, this is pathetic.
The kid in me says: But we had cereal for dinner last night! And I love it when we have just some pudding or (fake) bacon for dinner, those dinners are the best.

~ I have not stayed up all night in ages and frequently have trouble staying up past midnight more than twice a week.
The kid in me says: But we still get excited every time we are up late enough to see the late night talk shows or Saturday Night Live (no matter how lame they are now).

~ I do not watch cartoons during all of my (albeit limited) waking moments.
The kid in me says: But we still laugh when someone says “poop” or trips and falls down or is named something like Harry Dick. Hahahaha!

~ I actually eat my vegetables, including broccoli.
The kid in me says: This isn’t fair! We’ve always like vegetables, except for beans. We HATED beans. Now you like them, you totally blew that one.

~ I haven’t cannon-balled into a swimming pool since I got boobs.
The kid in me says: But we still totally do handstands!

~ I can’t remember the last time I had a grass stain on my pants and it’s safe to say that that last time it happened I was probably pissed about it, rather than proud.
The kid in me says: But we run outside almost everyday and we go rollerblading and boxing. Remember how we loved to run and roll around and hit stuff when we were little?

~ I haven’t thought bugs were cool (‘cept this one) in over two decades. In fact, I am rather prone to screaming in their presence.
The kid in me says: But we still have that morbid fascination with bloody things and gross things, just not anything bug.

~ I don’t say “Stupid Head” to persons in authority (just to my friends about persons in authority).
The kid in me says: But remember last month when we called the president of the (very important monetary) Exchange “dude” on a conference call?

I think the jury’s still out on whether my kid self would like me. I think I am going to go home, bake a cake, eat it for breakfast and think about this some more.

*It’s not plagiarizing if this post was taken from a conversation** I had with a friend, right? Even if it was the friend that started said conversation? For the record, D-Mac, you are a much better 10-year old than I am.**Interesting to note that the conversation concluded with an Internet search and the viewing of certain Phoebe Cates screen shots from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And don’t act like you don’t know which pictures/screen shots I am talking about. All of you youngins out there that legitimately don’t know what I am referring to here can just shut it right now.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. April 12, 2006 1:45 pm

    The 10 year old me, I suspect, would be quite pleased.

  2. April 12, 2006 2:42 pm

    The kid in you says: Eat red meat.

  3. April 13, 2006 8:46 am

    The kid in me is very pleased I believe, but maybe because I have kids I have lots of opportunities to behave like one. Maybe you need to live with us again?! 🙂

  4. April 13, 2006 1:29 pm

    The ten-year-old me would be amazed that I’m not the shy girl I used to be. Hardly!

  5. April 13, 2006 4:48 pm

    I think the 10 year old in me would probably just be happy that I haven’t been committed yet (it was a constant fear as I was growing up). That or amazed that I was still alive (again, a fear from childhood that I would die before 30. Although, I have over 2 months before I turn 30. I better knock on wood).

  6. April 13, 2006 5:05 pm

    Phil – As would all the Playaz inner children I bet. That sounds really wrong. Ignore me.

    i-66 – Have actaully never really been a big fan, I did eat more of it as a child than I do now, but I wasn’t cooking for myself then either.

    harms – You ARE a big, blonde child!

    Sweet – So are you still shy? I don’t get it :

    Chase – Damn sister that’s some serious stuff for a kid to be contemplating!

  7. April 13, 2006 11:30 pm


  8. April 14, 2006 9:12 am

    I hope that you are not referring to me as a “youngin”. As I am so utterly obsessed with Fast Times and watch it almost daily. So there.

  9. April 14, 2006 3:44 pm

    I was very deep as a kid…which is why I am so goofy now. 🙂

  10. April 17, 2006 10:57 am

    Good LORD, it takes forever to open your blog at work!

    At least the entry was worth it 🙂

  11. April 17, 2006 1:05 pm

    Bug- Really? Awwww, yay!

    Heather B – You ARE a youngin’. But toally in with the older crowd for seeking out such an old classic!

    Chase – Well I guess better to get it out of your system at a young age?

    DCSC – Damn, really? I wonder why! It’s not like I’ve got the graphics thing going on. Just wait till I post the Easter dinner pics.

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