Modern technology has done it again!

Ok, so I’ve heard about this new fangled product that can cook food in mere seconds. Seconds! It’s called a microwave oven and apparently, by some sort of elfin magic, it will cook your food in a fraction of the time it would take to cook it on the stove. Or over fire in my case, since apparently I live in the Dark Ages for not owning one of these wonderful, oh-so-modern products.

I am not against them or anything, I actually used to have a microwave. It’s been well over two years since that time, but I have had one (or access to one) for most of my life (yes, I am old enough to remember the time when we got our very first microwave…I think I was 7 or 8 and it had a rotary dial). But it’s not like I am against them on principle or anything. When I moved out of my rented apartment, I purged all of the things that were not fabulous. For I knew that I would soon be moving into a mortgaged condo, and who wants to bring non-fabulousness into your very own, grown-up abode? So the microwave? Not so fabulous. It was old, large (I mean it was practically as big as my oven, my real oven) and left by the ex when he made his quick exodus from my life. So it was donated to a church. Or perhaps it was left on a church’s doorstep like an abandoned baby…but I was desperate to get rid of it and not waste it’s magical powers by tossing it in a dumpster. I had intentions of getting a cute, little microwave. Perhaps one in a funky color or one that toasts bagels and brews coffee at the same time as nuking your food. But when the time came (and when I saw the quaintness of my kitchen), I decided it was not a necessary part of life. Well, my life anyway.

But Marci, how do you boil water?
Well, I have both a tea kettle and a sauce pan. When water is added and the receptacle is placed over heat, the water will boil.

But Marci, how do you re-heat leftovers?
I’ve found that pan-fried (or broiled) leftovers are pretty damned good and actually quite suited to my taste of over cooked food. And surprisingly, it really doesn’t take that long.

But Marci, how do you make those frozen meals?
Simple, I don’t eat frozen meals. I am not fan, so this one is easy.

But Marci, how do you make popcorn?
Ah. Now see, this is the one kicker, the only time that I have ever wished for a microwave is during times of popcorn cravings. I do make popcorn. But I make it in a sauce pan. I pour loose kernels into a pan and stand there over the heat and shake shake shake it until it pops. It’s good. Waaaay better than microwave popcorn, but it is annoying to stand there and wait for those hard little kernels to heat up and release their fluffy goodness.

Will I ever get a microwave? It’s possible. I don’t think I will buy one anytime soon. But if/when I remodel my kitchen I am sure one of these modern marvels will be part of the plans. I’ll let you know if my life changes.