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Modern technology has done it again!

March 2, 2006

Ok, so I’ve heard about this new fangled product that can cook food in mere seconds. Seconds! It’s called a microwave oven and apparently, by some sort of elfin magic, it will cook your food in a fraction of the time it would take to cook it on the stove. Or over fire in my case, since apparently I live in the Dark Ages for not owning one of these wonderful, oh-so-modern products.

I am not against them or anything, I actually used to have a microwave. It’s been well over two years since that time, but I have had one (or access to one) for most of my life (yes, I am old enough to remember the time when we got our very first microwave…I think I was 7 or 8 and it had a rotary dial). But it’s not like I am against them on principle or anything. When I moved out of my rented apartment, I purged all of the things that were not fabulous. For I knew that I would soon be moving into a mortgaged condo, and who wants to bring non-fabulousness into your very own, grown-up abode? So the microwave? Not so fabulous. It was old, large (I mean it was practically as big as my oven, my real oven) and left by the ex when he made his quick exodus from my life. So it was donated to a church. Or perhaps it was left on a church’s doorstep like an abandoned baby…but I was desperate to get rid of it and not waste it’s magical powers by tossing it in a dumpster. I had intentions of getting a cute, little microwave. Perhaps one in a funky color or one that toasts bagels and brews coffee at the same time as nuking your food. But when the time came (and when I saw the quaintness of my kitchen), I decided it was not a necessary part of life. Well, my life anyway.

But Marci, how do you boil water?
Well, I have both a tea kettle and a sauce pan. When water is added and the receptacle is placed over heat, the water will boil.

But Marci, how do you re-heat leftovers?
I’ve found that pan-fried (or broiled) leftovers are pretty damned good and actually quite suited to my taste of over cooked food. And surprisingly, it really doesn’t take that long.

But Marci, how do you make those frozen meals?
Simple, I don’t eat frozen meals. I am not fan, so this one is easy.

But Marci, how do you make popcorn?
Ah. Now see, this is the one kicker, the only time that I have ever wished for a microwave is during times of popcorn cravings. I do make popcorn. But I make it in a sauce pan. I pour loose kernels into a pan and stand there over the heat and shake shake shake it until it pops. It’s good. Waaaay better than microwave popcorn, but it is annoying to stand there and wait for those hard little kernels to heat up and release their fluffy goodness.

Will I ever get a microwave? It’s possible. I don’t think I will buy one anytime soon. But if/when I remodel my kitchen I am sure one of these modern marvels will be part of the plans. I’ll let you know if my life changes.

21 Comments leave one →
  1. March 2, 2006 12:24 pm

    You know, there used to be actual elves inside the microwaves… it took people a little while to figure out that they needed a way to escape before the heating began – so folks ended up having elf sauce with their frozen meal.

  2. March 2, 2006 12:42 pm


    …And Marci, you’re like Martha Stewart! I’m still trying to figure out why I even have a stove…lol. All I ever cook is canned soup. And I’m pretty sure that you can microwave.

  3. March 2, 2006 12:48 pm

    I just recently got a toaster for the first time in about 4 years. You really never miss those new fangled things, if you never have them in the first place.

  4. March 2, 2006 12:54 pm

    I too lived without a microwave for the entire year that I lived in Georgetown. The family I lived with didn’t believe in it.

    I never boil water in the microwave anyway. It’s dangerous, haven’t you people seen the special on 20/20 where they show that the water can overboil and when you insert powdered hot chocolate, or tea bag, it erupts all over the place?

    Toaster ovens can do alot of things that microwaves can, in less time than a conventional oven.

    You can make frozen meals in the oven too. There are directions on the box, I swear.

    Popcorn? I love the “old-fashioned” popcorn machines that you place the bowl under. Mmm.

  5. March 2, 2006 1:05 pm

    I hadn’t had a microwave in years, and I enjoyed boiling my water, and reheating leftovers on the stove. Now, we recently received another one as a gift, and I must admit – I use the timer function on it more than the actual microwave.

  6. March 2, 2006 1:07 pm

    You’ve gone this long without it Marci, no need to get one now!

  7. March 2, 2006 1:51 pm

    My Mom doesn’t have one either and it drives me crazy when I go over there and want to heat something up. I think if you have kids you have to have one, well, it makes life much easier and you don’t have to worry about the kids using the stove and burning the house down, just burning themsleves from hot contents. Although, the kids boil water on the stove almost every morning in the kettle, so, uh, whatever….. I think it’s funny you don’thave one, but when we lived together, did you use it other than for the kiddies???

  8. March 2, 2006 1:54 pm

    i-66 – When I was little, I thought that the TV actors lived inside my television set.

    Roar – Not like Martha, say it’s isn’t so!

    Heather – I’ve tried toasting bread in the oven and that doesn’t work so good. That being siad, that may be my next step because my toaster is on the fritz.

    Nic – I like those old air poppers too, but I am against extraneous appliances. Well, except for my KitchenAid Mixer. That is a necessity.

    Rich – Is that your baby?

    Mappy – See! Microwaves are not essential. A magnetic timer that sits on my fridge does the job for me 🙂

    Tyler – Two words: Resale value.

  9. March 2, 2006 1:56 pm

    Harm – I used it for frozen meals since I ate them then. And I reheated leftovers since we cooked a lot…and we ate up some popcorn. So yeah, I used it. I just don’t miss it 🙂

  10. Binky permalink
    March 2, 2006 2:19 pm

    If you think that’s bad, you should see how Marci gets to work!

  11. March 2, 2006 2:50 pm

    I am in shock! Do you also use a card catalogue at the library? Dial-up internet? Land-line phones?

  12. March 2, 2006 3:00 pm

    Marce- The waaay hotter and cooler and hipper and random-in-a-fun-and-cute-way kind of martha. So, ie, you’re her. Mwah!

    And Rich- That’d better be photoshop. And: you have a KID?

  13. March 2, 2006 3:04 pm

    Dammnit Marci! Quit pretending you don’t recognize our baby! We miss you, and we’re ready to work things out!

    (For the record, I have no children.)

  14. March 2, 2006 4:06 pm

    Notice: he didn’t say whether it was photoshop or not.

  15. March 2, 2006 4:14 pm

    I completely understand those words. When I bought my place, that’s why I had a brand new stove/mico combo in it. But until you are ready for that, or redoing you kitchen, no need.

  16. March 2, 2006 5:45 pm

    Binky – It’s probably faster than the friggin Orange line.

    Cookie – No landline, no Internet. I am a cave woman.

    Awww Roary – you so sweet. Love you!

    Rich – Don’t you owe me alimony or something?

  17. Anonymous permalink
    March 2, 2006 5:56 pm

    you should have trashed the microwave and dropped it on his doorstep. Maybe you should look into a convection mircowave.

  18. March 2, 2006 10:32 pm

    yes, when you have kids microwaves are essential… for heating up hotdogs!

  19. March 3, 2006 2:09 pm

    the microwave that my organization provides for its employees has a rotary dial…it’s totally ancient and overcooks everyone’s food.

    i’m glad we are spending our money wisely on making sure that the worker bees are happy.

  20. March 3, 2006 10:20 pm

    Cookie – she has a rotary telephone.

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