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V-day gifts

February 8, 2006

Ok, so it’s been a while since I have needed to give anyone other than my wifey (and BFF) a gift on Valentine’s day (and even that is usually a piece of candy and an evening of wine) but I have a few issues with the advice on MSN’s list of “10 Worst V-Day gifts…” list. On their list:

1. Roses and baby’s breath
Agree. I am not a fan of roses really and this is so cliché that it ends up coming across as trite and forced.

2. Box of assorted chocolates.
Agree. Same reason as above.

3. Jewelry in a ring-sized box (including earrings and pendants).
Disagree. Um. No. If you’re in a place where jewelry-giving is acceptable, give it! Do not hold back because she might expect a ring–just don’t give it to her on bended knee. Am I wrong here? Maybe I’ve just never been in a position to be asked for my hand, but I find this advice ridiculous. Bring on the bling!

4. Something overly (and cheesily) girlie.
Agree. Seems forced and likely to end up in a drawer or the trash.

5. A cute stuffed animal bearing a message of love
Agree. It’s just dumb. And nobody wants that shit.

6. Racey lingerie
Disagree. What? MSN says it’s more for him than her. No guy I’ve ever gone out with has liked lingerie more than I do. And I’d have to say most of my girlfriends feel the same way. It’s a trashy holiday anyway, why not trash it up some more with some hot underthings?

7. Anything that could be considered a small appliance
On the fence. Irons? No. Naughty appliances? Yes.

8. Cologne or perfume
Disagree. But it’s got to be her scent, or something equally special, not something random or something old like Elizabeth Taylor’s, Diamonds.

9. A tie (for him)
Agree. What, is he your dad?

10. A gift certificate
Agree. Why not just leave some cash on the nightstand?

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. February 8, 2006 2:00 pm

    1) I can do roses, but they have to be nice ones. I can tell the difference between run-of-the-mill ones picked up at Safeway, and quality ones from a quality florist. And leave off the baby’s breath please.
    2) My mom and girlfriends are the only ones allowed to buy me chocolate.
    3) Maybe the reason non-ring jewelry in a ring-sized box was on the list, is that you don’t want the girl getting the wrong idea. So, if he’s giving a necklace put it in a rectangular box, etc. something obviously not ring-sized, so she doesn’t start screaming “Yes I’d love to marry you.” and then he’s stuck with an awkward admittal, and she’s stuck with an awkward “Um, just kidding.” Otherwise, as long as he has good taste, I’m game for the bling too.
    4) In general it’s difficult for me to accept a girlie present from a guy. Something disconcerting.
    5) I’ll admit the ex gave me a Build-A-Bear with an impressive bouquet of flowers our 1st V-Day together, and it was fitting because we’d only been together a couple months, so in that awkward not serious, but not nonchalant stage. But one is enough. A repeat from him or anyone else wouldn’t be cute the 2nd time around.
    6) Valentine’s Day to me is more about a good steak dinner, and good sex that lasts more than the usual afterward. Crotchless panties and a porn is not a bad idea, coming from the right person. On the other hand, the teddy bear V-Day, I gave him a pair of boxers (along with other things), which I thought was a reasonable gift, suggestive, but not goo-goo cutesy, nor I want to grow old with you.
    7) Ditto.
    8) Again ditto. If it’s a perfume I wanted, and he’s going to compliment me and say he likes the way I smell, that’s fine.
    9) A tie given to anyone. Regardless of who. And for whichever occasion is a lame idea.
    10) I’d make an exception for one to the spa.

  2. February 8, 2006 2:02 pm

    Concise-ness. Next time. Sorry. :-p

  3. February 8, 2006 2:19 pm

    good… baby’s breath smells like strained peas anyway.

  4. Anonymous permalink
    February 8, 2006 2:30 pm

    Cash is always the perfect fit.

  5. February 8, 2006 2:32 pm

    Strained peas. I love it.

    Gifts on Valentines Day are awkward no matter how you slice it. Dinner, wine, and a good hookup with someone you like, that’s the pinnacle to me.

  6. February 8, 2006 2:39 pm

    Frankly, I’m planning on ignoring V-day altogether.

    I disagree on roses (I LOVE beautiful, deep red roses), but am 100% with ya on the baby’s breath. Yuck. And if you’re not gonna get a nice bouquet, just don’t get one at all.

    Other than that, I’m with you — I can’t think of a better gift ANYtime than nice lingerie and a personal appliance. 😉

  7. February 8, 2006 3:06 pm

    Agree w/Nicole on Roses. I’ll take beautiful roses any day. Cliche but they still make me smile. Though a nice exotic bouquet is a bit more appealing.

    Anyone can buy me chocolates (or anything made w/sugar) any day. I never tire of sweets. ((shrug))

    Ok, so what’s considered a ‘girly gift’? scented lotions/sprays and such? If so, then yes, agreed.

    Only time I got a stuffed animal from Lu-cifer was when I asked for one.

    Yep, I love the lingerie and get off on it (TMI?) much more than he does. No doubt there. Remember, I wear it on my ‘dates w/Clussy’ just to impress myself.

    If my man got me a vibrator for Valentines, it’d be a bit worrisome in my opinion.

    Cash on nightstand? Excellent. I’d feel like such a dirty whore. In a good way of course. right.

    Thank you for sharing.

  8. February 8, 2006 5:14 pm

    Nicole – Promise? Heh! You’re alright I like a clogged comment box 🙂 Oh and I agree on the spa gift certif. That is in a realm inofitself.

    66 – Ha! Peas? Strained peas? I hate to ask.

    Roar – Agree, it’s weird. Mainly because it’s a non-holiday I think.

    RC – I know the rose thing is my personal distaste, but you girls are right. If you do flowers, do them well or not at all.

    Cluss – I think they meant like a pink jewel encrusted change purse or something. And what if your man got you body chocolate? Would that give you the same misgivings? Or do we classify that as candy? Oh, and thank you for sharing 🙂

  9. February 9, 2006 9:05 am

    Brut 33 always makes a great gift for your man. The scent of a gentleman.

  10. February 9, 2006 10:12 am

    Nothing says “I love you” quite like a Red Lobster gift card.

  11. February 9, 2006 10:30 am

    $80 roses that are gonna die less than a week after you get ’em? i’ll pass, thank you very much.

    but i’m all for trashy lingerie and dirty appliances 🙂

  12. February 9, 2006 11:29 am

    baby’s breath sucks and I agree with the gift certificate stance.

  13. February 9, 2006 12:50 pm

    Phil – would the corollary be true? Can I spray it on the retards that hit on me to turn them into gentlemen? Cuz if that works, I’ll totally buy it for Valentine’s day for myself…

    Travis – I suddenly have a craving for cheesy biscuits!

    …how – See, most girls are!

    Heather – I think the consensus is baby’s breath is for suckas 🙂

  14. February 9, 2006 3:27 pm

    Me love roses! I’d love to get roses at home but my bitches (cats) eat flowers 😦

    I love how cheesy Vday is and the fact that it’s the one day a year it’s acceptable to be extremely cheesy and lovie. You just can’t find a good heart pillow, tacky underwear and love candy in June.

  15. February 9, 2006 10:45 pm

    I got my boyfriend very soft luxury sheets, which is mostly going to be for my own pleasure. 🙂 Then I’m also going to get lingerie, which I know is mostly going to be for his pleasure. That way, we’ll both be happy!

  16. April 5, 2006 3:44 am

    Hi #NAME#. Just found your site via dish network. Although I was looking for dish network I was glad i came upon your site. Thanks for the read!

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