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October 5, 2005

It’s one thing to complain to my friends about my job (and complain I do–sorry Jen and Bug), but another to do so here in a semi-public forum. I wouldn’t normally like writing stuff like this…(I mean bad things happen when one does that)…but I am going insane. Really. I can’t stand the stupidity anymore and because Buggie likes to laugh at me and because I’ve relayed this to her at least twice already today, I am going to transcribe my latest insanity issue for you, the good people of the Internet. So please forgive the two, job-related posts in a row.

Today, for the third time in a week, I received a call from him. Him being the man I’ve dubbed My Retarded Mexican. Everyone should have one…a retarded Mexican…because then they would know what I am going through. Although I suspect he manifests himself in other forms as well–you will understand once you read our conversation below. But first, let me set the scene.

12:10 PM – I am on the phone with a non-retarded person and am paged to pick up another line. I motion to a girl near me and mouth “Who is on hold?”. She says “I dunno, Mexico”. Oh, hell no! I am not talking to him. I wasted 40 minutes of my day last week on the phone with him…I’ve emailed him already this morning. Not taking the call. The overhead page goes off again and it’s mentioned that he will hold until I am available. Well I am pretty good at being unavailable so I wait him out by pretending to be on the phone after my non-retard hangs up. Yes, I listened to dial tone for over 5 minutes* to wait out My Retarded Mexican.

12:39 PM

A RANDOM CO-WORKER: Tradeshow call for you. Click. Ring.
ME: Good afternoon, this is BabyBanana
HIM: Hello, this is The Retarded Mexican from Mexico

ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, the Retarded Mexican tricked the phone answerer (note, phone answerer was not my receptionist because she apparently doesn’t do that) into giving me the call unsuspectingly.

ME: [saying nothing, too busy typing expletives on IM]
HIM: Did you get my email?
ME: Yes, did you get mine? [remember, the e-mail where I told you that I received the information you sent and would fax some more shit to you, as per your 5th request, as soon as I can]
HIM: Yes, did you fax it?
ME: No, I told you in the email. I just got the info this morning.
HIM: Can you fax it?
ME: As soon as it’s ready.
HIM: Is it ready, can you fax it? Blahdcasaeblaha blaa bhalhblahaburrito….
[At this point, I put the phone down on my desk because I cannot stand it. How many circular conversations can I have with this guy? Seriously. There is obviously a language barrier, let’s just stick to email communication ok dude? I can’t take it. I am going to yell at you soon and I don’t want to do that.]
HIM: Ok, you fax it?
ME: I cannot fax it, it’s not ready. I just got it an hour ago and still have to print it out and give it to the appropriate person before I can fax it back to you. [I feel like a f*cking Dr. Seuss at this point! I cannot fax it Sam I am, I cannot fax it to any man!]
HIM: Can you e-mail it?
ME: No, it’s not ready!
HIM: Did you get my e-mail?
ME: Yes, we are a small office. I have many emails, I am not ready to fax it back to you yet. As soon as I can!
HIM: Today?
ME: I will try.
HIM:
ME: Ok? That is all?
HIM:
ME: Ok, buh-bye.
HIM: Thank you, bye.

Gah! I am not lying! This is how our converstions go…I suppose I got off lucky, this one was only 10 minutes. The last two were over a half-hour. Gah! Smeesh! #&$(*^*@*&&#*^#*&$#!!!

*Apparently our office lines do not revert to that loud RARHR RARHR RARHR sound when you’ve had the phone of the hook too long. Good to know.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. October 5, 2005 4:55 pm

    hahaha

  2. October 6, 2005 7:45 am

    Dear baby banana, I would also like to exhibit and I was wondering if you could fax me that form? bhalhblahaburrito….
    Or email it to me? Blahdcasaeblaha…. Today?
    meg

  3. October 6, 2005 10:41 am

    This is just another example of you being mean at the workplace again. I’ll try not to forward you his calls anymore.

    I think hot cocoa and rum would help dear.

  4. October 6, 2005 12:36 pm

    I’ll fax you a burrito Meg! Just you wait!

    Inept – I am not mean! I didn’t yell at the Retarded Mexican, I wnated to but I didn’t. Restraint counts for something, right?

  5. October 6, 2005 3:12 pm

    Yeah, after my last experience w/MeHEco, I’m not down w/the MeHEcan govt. I’m just not… I don’t care the reasons. Anywho, this guy sucks. I hope you still didn’t fax him jack.

  6. October 6, 2005 10:29 pm

    Aiy Meio!

    Washington Cube Was Here. #217

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