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October 4, 2005

Open letter to my office “receptionist”:

Dear weirdo,

I am sending you a description of your job since there seems to be a lot (I mean A LOT) of confusion on this issue.

re·cep·tion·ist [n]: An office worker employed chiefly to receive visitors and answer the telephone.

~It does not say hum melody-free tunes while eerily walking the halls at a speed of 0.0000015 miles an hour
~It does not say stare blankly at a ringing phone nor refuse to (gasp!) put someone on hold while more than one phone line is ringing
~It does not say spend countless minutes, hours away from your desk. It may not SPECIFICALLY state that your presence is required at your desk but the two (note ONLY TWO!) duties you are required to perform do in fact need to you be at your desk…you know, the one near the door and the main phone.
~It does say “worker”, meaning you have to work ie. answer the phone and the door

Please, please I beg you, take heed. I know we are a small office and that at times you may need to leave your assigned post. But the rest of us are EXTREMELY busy. I’ve tried giving you extra work thinking maybe you were bored and couldn’t stand it up there all by yourself, but you couldn’t handle my ~crazy~ filing system, the alphabet. So I implore you, just answer the damn phone. Buzz people in when they ring the bell. Please, for the love of God before I go insane!!

Your co-worker (that is one who works with another; a fellow worker…you know if you actually worked).

8 Comments leave one →
  1. October 4, 2005 10:58 am

    Marci… I’m considering enlisting you to do my venting for me.

  2. October 4, 2005 11:03 am

    Ah those toneless, tuneless melodies, how I miss them… And don’t you think the traditional alphabet is a little stifling?

  3. October 4, 2005 4:47 pm

    I feel your pain – I have one of those too. Speaking of pain, it hurts to just READ about the Vikings, much less watch them. It’s like that line from the otherwise largely forgettable movie “The Legend of Bagger Vance”:

    Matt Damon: This is getting embarassing.
    Will Smith: Oh no sir, this has been embarassing for quite some time.

  4. October 4, 2005 8:19 pm

    damn that crazy abc filing system of yours. I couldn’t figure it out

  5. October 5, 2005 9:19 am

    You totally remind me of this woman I used to temp for that I hated. She expected me to do stuff like that too!

    If she had been as cute as you, things might have worked out differently.

  6. October 5, 2005 10:48 am

    This little vent made me feel so much better yesterday. I really should leave it on her desk and sign it “All of Us”…because I can’t take the humming anymore! Augh!

    But you all are right, the alphabet IS confusing. Maybe we should try to put it to a song. I heard that a little melody makes it easier to remember things. Crazy?

  7. October 5, 2005 11:25 am

    You are a mean mean woman, Marci. We are no longer best friends.

    I will go stare blankly at someone else now.

  8. October 5, 2005 3:10 pm

    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh. Laughing so hard. Hurting.

    Inept Receptionist, you don’t want to be my friend. I know because when I talk to you all you ever say is “Ok”. But not “O-KAY!”…more like “ho-hum. o. k.”

    I am sorry, but my friends have more than a two-syllable vocabulary and have a general grasp of the aplhabet.

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