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Take this job and shove it

September 14, 2005

My office is pretty small and we are a fairly close-knit group. There are VERY few people that I have a problem with and for the most part we all get along really well. The core of us really like to joke around with each other and sometimes (what some may deem) inappropriate jokes fly abound. No one takes it personally and it all gets dished back and life is good.

Cut to today’s lunchroom gab-fest.

I pop my head in for a few to see what the topic is and it’s bouncing around between Katrina, the strawberry milkshakes at Potbelly, haircuts and how much they cost, how the word “bobs” in print looks just like the word “boobs” and isn’t that funny, haha! Then, in almost a surreal fashion a co-worker turns her head to me and in all seriousness says “So, Marci, why don’t you quit [company] and get a job with Hooters?”

Silence falls over the lunch crowd (all 7 of us).

There is laughter and staring. Them staring at me and me staring at her.

I mumble…”er…Hooters? Um…er…why?” I mean, I don’t make A LOT of money, but I do ok. And I can’t imagine that I would make nearly that amount or get any kind of benefits from a serving job. I mean, I loved it when I was in it but, that was college and this is now. And sure I am…ahem…semi well-endowed…but that is neither here nor there. Why is she seriously wondering why I am not working at Hooters?

“You know, they are just like advertising a lot and it’s supposed to be a good deal.”

The lone male in the group pipes up to add “My friend put herself through med-school working at Hooters.”

Thanks D-Mac, thanks for keeping the conversation alive.

Then one of the ladies shouts in *almost* mock-astonishment “Why would you ask her that and not ME?”

I never did find out what prompted her to come at me with that out of the blue (maybe all the talk of milkshakes and “bobs”), but damn it was pretty funny. And odd. Actually more odd that funny, even for this job.

20 Comments leave one →
  1. September 14, 2005 6:06 pm

    Just promise us that if you do go to work at Hooters, you will share some of the stories here in your blog.

  2. September 14, 2005 11:18 pm

    So….let me get this straight….the conversation went from milk shakes to hooters?

  3. September 15, 2005 9:23 am

    Yeah…milkshakes…yum…hey, why don’t you work at Hooters? AND she was serious! Rhuh?

    And I imagine the blog sounding like (invoke Jan Brady voice) “so today at work, someone, like, got wing sauce on my boob.”

  4. September 15, 2005 9:56 am

    milkshakes to hooters… that’s wrong. it is. seriously. wrong.

    Please go work there so I can finally have a good reason to go in there and have the “greatest wings on earth” and observe what goes down in that joint. I think it’s really a massage parlor. Just my theory. If so, if someone asks for a “happy ending” just… just walk away Mish, walk fa’ fa’ away and of course give me the fancy work tee. Thanks.

  5. September 15, 2005 8:39 pm

    So, um, who wants to go on a field trip to Hooters with me? You know, in the name of research…

  6. September 15, 2005 10:35 pm

    Honestly? Only been once and was embarassed to be there. But I’ll go with you.

  7. Rich permalink
    September 16, 2005 9:53 am

    For your research;
    The smoking gun actually just posted all eight pages the TOP SECRET Hooters Employee Handbook

    For my part, I flew Hooters Air roundtrip once, (sure, go ahead, ‘JUDGE’ me) It was when they were starting so it was super cheap and it made me less nervous because I just couldn’t imagine it ever crashing because then newscasters would have to look in the camera with a straight face and talk about “the tragic crash of Hooters flight 617” and that just DOESN’T happen in this world.

    I also go there myself every so often because (and here I’m setting myself up for a double ‘judging’) I still follow ‘the wrestling’ and they show the forty dollar PPVs there for free.

    I’ll go with you if I can be your research assistant and walk around behing you with a big yellow legal pad taking notes in shorthand.

    But none of this matters, YOU are dodging the very valid question of our time. Why DON’T you work at Hooters Marci? All we want is an answer….

  8. September 16, 2005 10:14 am

    Hooters? I am SO there… there’s one in Fairfax near 123 and 29.

    Actually, I frequent Soccer Pro Shop and when telling a fellow player about the store it’s nearly a sure thing that we’ll simultaneously say “the one right next to the Hooters” as our point of reference. Um, not that I’ve ever been…

  9. September 16, 2005 11:14 am

    As I was recently subjected to a research course for my degree, I feel I am now qualified to participate in this research project. My calender is clear for such an adventure. In fact, first pitcher is on me.


  10. September 16, 2005 4:35 pm

    In college, I was part of a group project for an HR class where we studied sexual harassment at Hooters. The other girls in the group and I all applied for jobs and were interviewed. It was pretty interesting!

    I am a fan of Hooters wings, I have to admit…

  11. September 16, 2005 6:49 pm

    Her favorite color is orange. It only is a matter of time before she puts on pantyhose and those sweet, sweet shorts. She’s already got an orange bag, orange sneakers and an orange food fixation. Hooters is obviously next in line.

  12. September 17, 2005 9:33 am

    Mish, you love orange just like Jemmy Pie. Did not know this. Though I guess you did reference it in your lil sidebar, huh?

    Do it Mish, do it! Eh… you won’t do it…

  13. Rich permalink
    September 17, 2005 9:31 pm

    Are you talking about those cute little shoes she wore on Friday with the orange laces?

    (No, I’m not gay. Can’t a guy notice shoes every so often?)

  14. September 19, 2005 11:41 am

    hhmm…Hooters has good wings.

  15. September 19, 2005 11:41 am

    hhmm…Hooters has good wings.

  16. September 20, 2005 11:49 am

    We may have to have a blogger research hour at the famed palace-o-wings-n-boobs. I am serious people.

  17. September 20, 2005 12:38 pm

    can we do it in VA?

  18. September 21, 2005 12:17 pm

    Nuyce! wings and beer and polyesther orange shorts. And… who loves you? (besides your Mr. Cornell hubby and Rich of course) Look what I found for you to study…

    How to be a Hooter chicky

    sorry for this opening up in this window, blogger prohibited me from usting the target=”_blank” tag. argh.

  19. September 21, 2005 12:35 pm

    S’alright, peoples can right click it to “open in new window” to avoid annoyingly small, tool-bar free windows. But you do realize this is the same link RIch posted above, right?

    But whaaa? No Buttocks? Really? What’s a girl serving beer and wings…to do?

  20. September 21, 2005 4:06 pm

    BOOOOOO, I didn’t even click on Rich’s link. I should have. Ignore lil Spanish girl in corner acting like a know it all. 😉

    beer and wings! Woot! No buttocks… eep?

    word verification: uclka all I saw was vodka. Hmm… parched.

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