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Great -isms

August 16, 2005

One more picture from MN… This is my Great Uncle Gordy. He is 95 years old. He is everything you would want to be at 95, hell he is everything you’d want to be now but can’t get away with because you are not old enough. While we were up in Minnesota, my family and I visited with him a few days after his 95th birthday one afternoon. So, I am going to take some time here to transcribe from memory some of the priceless gems he laid upon us that day. Please note that everything in quotation marks are his words exactly.

*So, we’re discussing my aunt’s need for a new well (ok, back story is that this aunt and uncle are farmers and Gordy lives in Blue Earth, MN — farm country extraordinaire– about 20 miles from the Iowa boarder), well not so much discussing as listening . Aunt Della is going on about installation and cost and blah…and after a bit of a pause, Gordy says “Why in the hell do you want to put in a new well? Just drink beer. It tastes better and is more fun to drink than the damn water.”

*He has strategically placed humming bird feeders outside his window so that while sitting in his chair (like he is above), he can look out the window (like he is above) and watch the little buggers. Thing is about bird feeders, they atrract other yard critters, like squirrels. This does not please Gordy. So, Gordy goes and gets his air gun, sets it on low and sneaks out the back door of the house. Great Uncle Gordy then creeps around the side of the house and “blasts the ol’ buggers in the behind”. Apparently you have not seen a squirrel jump unless you’ve seen one “get popped in the ass with a bb”.

*While telling us about his birthday party the previous weekend, he mentioned this kid that attended without his girlfriend. He asked the kid why he didn’t bring his girlfriend and the kid told him that he didn’t want the other two girlfriends getting pissed for not being invited, so he came alone. We laughed and someone asked Gordy how old the kid was…his reply? 87.

*There were many more references to “kids” he hangs out with. The kids he plays poker with on a regular basis are all in their 80’s. Then there is the kid that had a stroke recently and keeps falling down the stairs when they go to the pub. That kid is 82. However, he doesn’t reveal their ages unless asked. So unless you were wise to his stories, you’d totally be thinking some child just had a stroke and now likes to hangs out at bars.

Priceless. I wish we could have hung out longer…

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