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Call me Castle Grayskull?

August 15, 2005

So I totally started this thing so I could help myself learn how to be better at letting people in (that and Buggie’s blog was totally cool and inspirational). Apparently I have walls or something. Who knew? It seems I often make it difficult for people to get inside — well, more difficult than it should be. I imagine it to be like this (mainly because I am a dork): I am a castle w/ no moat. No moat, so it’s super easy to walk right up to the front door. But then, when you get all the way up there you realize that it’s locked, bolted even. Hmmm. What makes it worse is that there are like a hundred rooms inside and I am way in the back and never realize that people are knocking.

So, retarded analogy aside, a driving reason for this chasm of words was to open up a bit or teach myself how to do it in “real life”….but….I am getting caught up in witticisms, random (often sarcastic) observations, complaints, obsessions and hateration. I am still keeping it all “surface”. Why is it so hard? Am I that shallow? Or am I that scared?

Ok, time to bury this post under lots of trivial, albeit oh-so- vacuous interesting, crap charm!

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2005 7:03 pm

    I hear ya, baby doll. I think I am the same. Esp. right now. I feel like it is hard to let anyone in. But I liked your analogy. Analogies are never retarded. They are always useful!

  2. August 16, 2005 9:11 am

    Well you are the master at analogies. Seriously, there should be a competition for it…

  3. August 16, 2005 12:07 pm

    No, don’t bury this post under anything that you think may be more interesting to other people. This is your blog and this post in itself says a lot about you laying some ‘real-ness'(is that a word?) out there. Like, take it or leave it, this is what I gots to offer. no?

    I think sometimes we really do get caught up in what we think will make us more interesting or clever and hide under sarcasm.

    Sounds like you’re building yourself a moat or at least trying to. Let me know if you need some help. I hear Spanish labor is cheap and easy to come by. 😉 Wait, no, I am good supervisor though. Shift leader?

  4. August 16, 2005 5:53 pm

    I don’t think I am building a moat (which according to MG, is really just the mound that the castle sits on…the trench filled with water part is a result of building the mound. Who knew? Whatever, my castle is totally modern and has a concrete foundation.) I’m just a chicken is all. I had this blog for months before I told a soul and even then it was difficult. The point is to be more OPEN. O-P-E-N… Stuart Smiley, where are you when I need you?

    I got some quarters Cluss — will that buy me sum’tin?

  5. August 16, 2005 6:43 pm

    Will probably buy you like 2 hours of manual labor or so? It can also buy some coffee which can pay for my ear to listen? heh.

    I had my blog for like, um, maybe 4 or so months before I actually made it ‘public’. Before that only Bug, Harms and Jems had any access to it. Guess that’s different though, huh?

    Baby steps are OK. It’s the introspection that you seem to be opening up to that’s huge for your own sanity, don’tcha think?

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