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The freaks come out … in the middle of the afternoon?

August 11, 2005

Random lunchtime gym observations:

* I first encounter This-isn’t-hurting-me-as-much-as-it’s-hurting-you Guy. He is lying on the floor in the stretching area of the gym. So far so good, this is what people do here in the stretching area. However, he is also lying there with his legs up in the air…spread eagle. BUT, that is not the scary part. So while lying there with his legs up in the air, spread from here to there, he was also karate chopping his groin muscles. I don’t just mean a whack-a one, a whack-a two. I mean repetitive, full-on pounding of the muscles between his legs. I am not a boy, but I would have to imagine that that much pounding and chopping so close to the boys is not a good thing.

* Oooh, there, on the elliptical: I-just-stepped-out-of-my-house-for-the-first-time-in-15-years Lady. A red scrunchie is tightly twisted around the ponytail that is situated directly on top of her head. Not included in the sky-high ponytail are the “side bangs”…the big, thick chops of hair that hang down on either side of the face to about jawbone level. I cannot tell if they are there for a fashion statement or because they did not fit in the scrunchie. In addition to the straight side bangs, she also sports curly, frizzy, almost Jersey-style, regular-length bangs that are practically glued on with hairspray to round out her look.

* Next up is Prancing-Asian-Man-With-Mullet. A rare breed and definite crowd pleaser, the Prancing Asian Man holds on to the nearest piece of gym equipment and, oh so quickly, prances back and forth on his toes for 2-minute intervals. Think show pony, or drill team girls…not jogging in place, or just hopping around, but full-on prancing in place. Is this exercise? Should I bring my pom poms next time?

* I don’t know if I have a name for the short dude walking around in long shorts and striped knee-high socks. Not athletic, soccer, or racing kind of stripes…more like stripes in the fashion of Raggedy Ann. But navy blue and white stripes instead of red. He is a trainer there (and in the spirit of full-disclosure, one of my favorite people at the gym) and my gym is located in the middle of downtown DC, but what’s he representin’? The Lollipop Guild? Maybe we can call him, Raggeshizidy Anddizzle.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. August 11, 2005 5:16 pm

    Was Lu at your gym today at lunchtime?

  2. August 11, 2005 5:18 pm

    Indeed, I have seen all of those.

  3. August 12, 2005 5:26 am

    Look at that…another scrunchie sighting!! It’s an epidemic!?!

  4. August 12, 2005 9:20 am

    Clussy – I might be reaching here, but would Lu be the Prancing Asian Man With Mullet? It’s probably safer to guess that he’s the groin pounder…heh…groin.pounder. Heh.

    Stewbie – If I had seen just one of these folks yesterday I might not have thought twice. But they were all there at the SAME time. With other freaky people that I just didn’t have time to mention.

    Bekkah – Please say it isn’t so!

  5. Anonymous permalink
    August 12, 2005 10:48 am

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  6. August 12, 2005 10:48 am

    ha never seen that in a gym:P

  7. March 27, 2007 7:42 pm

    c8w9 Cindy: How often? They went off to slow. I practically sloshed c8wc i promise that. James, i was so.

  8. November 22, 2007 2:18 pm

    Again. 3d lesbian I ever told me, nose uncontrollably running. Absolutely. You a fraction of being ruthless.

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