Yeah, that’s it…right there

Ok Hammer, this one’s for you…

Domination is not happening so much for me any more by way of Fantasy Blogball or even in my “we do it for money” fantasy league. I still feel as though I am in it, I mean all you need to do is make the playoffs to be a contender, right? But I’ve been dealing with what you would call a “Quarterback Situation“ in the Fantasy Blogball. My two drafted QBs were Duante Culpepper and Trent Green. Yeah. Overall though, I don’t think I am doing too bad considering my biggest point getter is my kicker. My Kicker! But that’s how fantasy football is played these days, just ask Bill Simmons.

Speaking of defunct quarterbacks…do you realize how many teams are currently starting a QB who was not the starter at the beginning of the season?

Chiefs – Started with Trent Green / Now playing Damon Huard
Dolphins – Started with Duante Culpepper / Now playing Joey Harrington
Jaguars – Started with Byron Leftwich / Now playing David Garrad
Cowboys – Started with Drew Bledsoe / Now playing Tony Romo
Raiders – Started with Aaron Brooks / Now playing Andrew Walter
Titans – Started with Kerry Collins / Now playing Vince Young
Cardinals – Started with Kurt Warner / Now playing Matt Leinhart
49ers – Started with Ken Dorsey/ Went to Cody Pickett / Then to Tim Rattay / Now it looks like they are going back to playing Ken Dorsey? *
Seahawks – Started with Hasselbeck / Now playing Seneca Wallace
Redskins – Started with Mark Brunell / Now playing Jason Campbell

Did I forget anyone? This has got to be unprecedented, right? I mean that is nearly a third of the league! To be fair Green and Hasselbeck should be back this week or next…but man! Craziness.

*CORRECTION
See the comment section for my snotty excuse for getting this wrong and then wrong again. But the 49ers haven’t had a QB controvery this season, it’s the Buccaneers I am thinking of. They started with Chris Simms and are now playing Bruce Gradowski. Apologies to my friend D-Mac who was highly offended by my glaring mistake and oversight.

And *poof*! The magic number is gone

And just like that the Twins guarantee themselves that they’ll keep on playing into October! So easy, ya? Well it took a crumbling White Sox team to help make it so, now we’ll just see if we can topple the Tigers as well. Woo!

Torii got his 30th last night, most HRs he’s ever put up in a single season! Plus Morneau jacked one for two runs as well, first home run he’s had since he saw me on August 24th. I think it’s because he missed me and when he saw me there in Baltimore the day before last night’s game, he figured it was time to go big. Heh. Go Big.

So yeah, playoffs. I can dig it. Except for I am going to miss the ALCS…well all of it but one game . This travel schedule is kind of brutal–gonna totally mess with my taper for the marathon too, and it’s also kind of nixing any plans I had to head to Chicago before November. But it’s oh so cool. More deets on that to come later. I’ll wait until I actually have my plane ticket.

p.s.
How did this turn into a Justin Morneau soft-core porn blog? I have him pictured here all dripping with champagne, below he is bending over. I need to get a grip. Or smother the swan.
Also, I forgot to mention this:

Sunday, Sunday

Happy, happy

~Got a run in
Even if it was short, it makes me happy. Plus, it wasn’t too cold so…extra happy.
~Made a coffee cake~
There is something about measuring out ingredients and then beating the shit out of them that just makes me feel all warm and cozy inside. Even if the cake takes 12 minutes longer to bake than it was supposed to.
~Brunch~
Rachel hosted a great brunch with super yummy food, great coffee, homemade chai and really good conversation. Plus everyone loved my coffee cake. I love it when that happens.
~Vikings~
Went to Stars & Stripes for a little Viking love. The entire DC-Blogs-Viking-Fan-Club was there (um, me and Travis) and the boys in purple felt our support. They went on to win decisively over the Rams. And by decisively I mean +6 turnovers and 3 touchdowns. I am sure it was because of the momentum-changing jersey switch, the timely bathroom break, and the perfectly spicy bloody marys (yeah, I said it! Screw beer!)
~Fantasy domination returns~
Another decisive win, only this time it was me over I-66 in Fantasy Blogball. And since he wanted to talk smack and up the ante to include an actual side bet…I am now going to be one nicely boozed up banana. Yay. I love winning and I love booze!
~Dreamy~
Grey’s Anatomy. Patrick Dempsey. He was a little brooding last night. So hot. I like. Yum. Last thing I was thinking about before I went to bed. Sigh. Plus, a mention of the best holiday ever, “Hanumas”, on Grey’s…how cool? Jen, Bug and I have been celebrating that for the past few years now! Girls, we need to set the date this year!

All in all a super great day. Except Buggie is trying to call dibs on Wentworth Miller. I swear I did (call dibs) over text, but he’s pretty enough to share, no?

Only partial domination*

*Partial domination: Is that like a pig-tailed school-girl with a whip and a lollipop? Just wondering.

So my fantasy domination suffered a small blow this past week of pigskin frolic. I won a tight game in League of the Inane (putting me at 10-2 for the season) with James’ work-horse-but-no-td-performance last night. And I [bowing head] lost the other game to The Captain in Fantasy Blogball. Harrison did me right with that gorgeous 80 yard opening play, but James just couldn’t get the points to put me over. I should have clinched a playoff spot by now, I mean c’mon, our league leader was still playing McNabb through Week 11 for cripe’s sake. O-well, it’s just a matter of time before I crush them all (and no, I don’t care that The Captain has slightly edged me in the point race…I’m going to the show people!).

In other domination news, the Vikings have won 4 in a row with Johnson throwing the ball and actually reading defenses. Not that Cleveland had a tricky D to figure out…but considering our troubles as of late I’d say Brad boy is doing a fine job. Woo, 6-5! Why, that’s better than the oh-so-heralded-Redskins. Ha. Haha.

Three and Oh. Oh whoa is me.

I don’t hate the Redskins. I hate Redskin press. And the throngs of unrealistic fans. I haven’t read the sports page yet today, so maybe this is premature, but I SERIOUSLY doubt it. I just imagine all the columnists are crowning Brunell the Prince of Passers and perhaps have slated him to run for mayor as I type. Let’s keep it real here folks. There were two touchdown passes two weeks ago, and two yesterday. I don’t think Brunell sucks, in fact I think he is a big reason they won. His scramble up the middle for that first down in OT to keep the drive alive was key. Definite good read of the defense and not forcing the ball into double coverage. But a head first slide? What are you thinking? You had the first down by 9 yards, and now that you’ve had your job back for 2+ games, you are going to risk injury–for and extra few yards that don’t even put you in scoring range? Dumb.

No turnovers, minimal penalties and 3rd down conversions is what won this game. A solid team effort, but I am still not convinced it came from a solid team. I think the undefeated record is misleading. I wouldn’t put the Skins in the same class as Philly or the Bengals (god, can you believe that I am saying that…the Bengals!?) but they have potential. Maybe score on some of those clock-eating drives instead of pissing it all away, I mean time of possession 26:09 to Washington’s 39:22? That’s huge! So how do you explain such a tight score? How do you explain lack of defense in the 4th quarter when they should have felt fresh? I’m not bashin’, I’m just sayin’…
…

My Total Football Domination Update:
It’s all but won for BabyBananas in Week 4 of Fantasy Blogball. Solid
performances tonight by Steve Smith and Delhomme will put me at 2-1-1. I’ll either stay at 2nd or move into 1st overall since I am currently leading in total points (but that may change after tonight’s game–we’ll see how big Carolina goes).

In League of the Inane, I am leading as well BUT my undefeated status may disappear after tonight. Again Steve Smith could pull out a W for me, but he’s got to have a game like he did last week for that to happen. Not saying it’s not possible, but it’s Green Bay on Monday night football. Yes, they are currently sucking all kinds of suck (big yay!). But Favre has a thing about Monday nights, and god forbid someone he knows suffers some sort of major calamity pre-game because then all bets are off — and one should get thee to a sports book fast (GB is currently listed at +7.5) .

Complete and total domination

Two fantasy football leagues. Week 1 picks (on the spread). Three ways to dominate, three ways to win. With this amount of domination, you’d think I was a ninja or something

It’s week 1, so there cannot be a lot of trash talk at this point in the game–I have never been one to count my chickens before they hatch nor count my money while I am sittin’ at the table and any other cliché or song lyric that might apply in this situation. But, DAMN people, I rule. Seriously. I do.

In Fantasy Blogball I went up against DCSportsChick. She put on a good show, but fell to the outstanding performances of Steve Smith, Priest Holmes and Jeff Wilkins (a kicker!) to name the point getters. In League of the Inane (as I have dubbed it), it was a closer fight…but again my opponent had to fall to the likes of Brees, McGahee and Steve Smith (once again) (I must also state here that I could have played Brady and R. Moss but didn’t set my team before the Thursday game and if that had happened my little dumpling of an opponent would have been crushed!). To round out my skills as a coach and owner, let’s add supreme NFL bettor to the list. Too bad I am too chicken to play with *real* money …because I put a smack down on Week 1. Eight out of eleven games correct. Yes, I picked Detroit (but I did miss the SF/Denver game…wasn’t that awesome though?). Someone get me to Vegas.

it’s so hard, but I will refrain from profanity

WTF?
Profane acronyms don’t count, OK?
Yes, I am online on a Friday at 11pm at night. Why, you ask? Live fantasy football draft. The s–l–o–w–e–s–t live fantasy football draft in which I have EVER participated. Oh.my.god… I am hoping that my extraneous use of punctuation marks will somehow convey the plodding lethargy that is my draft. ^^^???##$#****. The bastards.

The commish did not set a time limit on picks!!!! Do you feel me? Do I need to use more punctuation, extra exclamation points!?! I will, I am not afraid. And plus, I have time…lots of freakin’ time. Normally these things go fairly quickly. Not as fast as Fantasy BlogBall, but faster than this! For the love of God, we started nearly two hours ago and it’s only Round 11. Round 11! Did I mention that there are only 8 teams? I think I have reached my limit of words w/o spewing foul-language. It’s going to get ugly folks…