0-peing Day

0-7

It’s not the worst losing streak in the majors (I looked it up, that record belongs to the O’s, for now), but it’s the worst streak right now.  Only team in the league to be winless at this point.  Joy.

I didn’t mind too much when I purchased my tickets for Opening Day, a major benefit to having a crappy team is easy pickings for choice games.  I didn’t mind too much that they were coming into the home opener 0-6.  I did however mind three errors and three unearned runs.

I had written some witty material here about how much none of this mattered and why. But WordPress ate it so instead I will just give you the photos that explain why I don’t care that we are winless.

Game time beeyotches!

Rally!

It was in the stars

HOROSCOPE: LEO

Your friends and family might look to you for guidance now, but not necessarily for motivation to get ahead. Instead, the laid back Taurus Moon suggests a day of pleasant relaxation and rejuvenation. You can set an example for others today by doing what makes you feel good, whether it’s watching a movie, lying by the pool or taking a nature walk.

So I made the family head over to the Metrodome this afternoon for the last day of interleague play.  Well I didn’t so much as make them as I mentioned it to my grandmother as a possibility and SHE convinced the ‘rents that attending today’s Twins v. Brewers game was a must do. (Have I mentioned how much I love my grandma?) But last-minute tickets, awesome left field seats, a pre-game all-Mascot t-ball game*, and some kick ass nine innings made for a ridiculously pleasant day.  Especially when those nine innings meant a complete game shutout by Slowey, a stand up triple by way of a foul line hugging line drive, and Young’s two-run  HR dropped into our section. Oh happy day.

*Twins mascot T.C. has invited his mascot friends to participate in the annual mascot softball game prior to Sunday’s contest against the Brewers. Mascots planning to attend include Apple and Bee (Applebee’s), Wilbur the Pig (Famous Dave’s), SPAMMY (Hormel), Moe (Minnesota Daily), Thor (Minnesota Thunder), Crunch (Timberwolves), Viktor (Vikings), Starman (Star Tribune), Subman (Subway), Toucan Harry (Treasure Island Resort & Casino), Patches the Panda (SPIRE), Airman Andy (United States Air Force Reserve 934th Airlift Wing), Goldy Gopher (University of Minnesota), Peppy the Pizza Slice (Broadway Pizza), Roy (Bethel University), Alfie the Liver (American Liver Foundation), Fairborn and Fairchild (Minnesota State Fair), Colonel Ohmoopapa (Valleyfair), Bullseye (Target), Spirit (Qwest) and special guest Bernie Brewer from the Milwaukee Brewers.

Seriously the most pre-game fun I’ve ever had (outside of Joe Mauer getting stretched), I mean when Alfie the Liver took a face-planting dive into home plate for the tying run…hilarious.  Twins are now 8-0 in mascot softball.

It’s the bottom of the 9th, 2 outs and…

When Opening Day is at night is it called Opening Night? Cuz that just seems wrong somehow.

No matter what it’s called, when Opening Day? Night? Day? Night is christening a new stadium it’s absolutely amazing. Recall last year when I made it clear that every single American, alien and unborn child should attend an Opening Day at least once in their lifetime? Well I now add to that must do: Attend Opening Day at a shiny, new stadium as well!

I was a fan of RFK, it had history, it had character and well, it was a piece of crap. But it was OUR piece of crap…in fact it was MY piece of crap because what RFK did better than any ball park I’ve ever been to in my lifetime was invoke a sense of prideful ownership. Much like a high schooler would feel about Dad’s hand-me-down 1978 wood-panel station wagon–Don’t knock it! It runs, it’s mine and therefore it’s awesome.

Now forget all of that. Shiny! New! Pretty! Green! Food! Neon! Lights! Concourses wide enough for two people to pass each other without gaining any intimate knowledge!

And unlike Opening Day at RFK last year with Buggie and Laura, it did not take me an ungodly amount of time to wade through the food lines and come out with a lovely Ben’s Original Half Smoke, done up “All The Way”. Nay, the only line I really had to stand in was that for the ATM and then only to find out that many a food vendor take charge cards! Oh glorious day! This girl is going to be lovin’ some National’s Park this year.

With Teddy up to his usual antics and lines for Curly W pretzels, Giffords hot cocoa, Mayorga coffee, and helmet sundaes moving at a better-than-expected-pace (especially for there being 40,000 people in the house) people were happy–even when said helmet sundaes were supporting other MLB teams. This girl spied, Phillies, Diamondbacks and Rangers’ sundaes last night. But considering my ire for RFK’s lack of such wonderful treats, I didn’t mind the errant logos. No, you can all expect a full report on the new park’s take on this stadium staple in the near, and warmer future.

So it’s the bottom of the 9th, two outs and while the bases weren’t loaded, it was the inaugural MLB game and Opening Day for a brand-spanking new stadium. Ryan  Zimmerman was at the plate…and, well, the only logical conclusion can apply…

Happiness.

Thanks to Liz for procuring the tickets, especially when Bug, Laura, Frank and I were so woefully unsuccessful. Thanks also to Bug for being so studious and prone to procrastination and to my family for exiting Sunday’s kitchen renovations in such a timely manner so that I actually could go to this game. XOXO.

So what?

So what if he goes, so what if he doesn’t.

(He’s going by the way)

I mean, why is it such a big deal if Bud Selig is present on the day Barry Bonds breaks the all-time home run record. Really. I don’t get it. Does anyone really (I mean, really) care if Selig is there or not? The asterisk lobbyists maybe…perhaps as a validation of sorts? But really, I don’t get the speculation that has been going on for all these months as to whether or not the commissioner will be present for that record-breaking at bat. So what if he is? So what if he isn’t? I understand his reasoning and his forethought in determining what it will “say” if he does or doesn’t…but why should we, as a public, as a fan base, care? I don’t care;  I don’t care if he attends,I don’t care if he doesn’t. Is it just that the baseball public is just hoping for some direction in how to feel about this scenario? If so, I hope they are not looking to Selig for an answer…it’s his office’s fault we are even dealing with this conundrum at all.

4 days ’til I leave for Minnesota on a jet plane in the family car. So I leave you with one of my Top Four Things I Love About My Home State.

1. I love that it will be in the eighties there during the day, in the sixties at night and with minimal humidity throughout. Eff the oppressive heat of the south! Always trying to keep us down!

I love baseball, but c’mon!

Dear Baseball Today,

Please stop mentioning the Wild Card race, it’s May for eff’s sake!  There is no Wild Card race now. You know why there is no Wild Card race at this time?  Because in order for there to be a Wild Card, the teams getting into the playoffs have to be all-but-decided. But guess what? It’s May. Nothing is decided. Well, maybe it’s decided that the Nationals, the Reds, the Royals and the Devil Rays suck. But other than that, it’s still pretty much up for grabs and for that reason you should just stop, until at least July and even then you’d be pushing it. I mean I know, I know, baseball is a statitician’s sport and for that reason there will always be data telling us how far back our teams are at any given moment, but seriously! Oh, also, while I’m at it, please tell Alan Schwarz that he is not funny. His jokes are lame at best, but mostly just not at all humorous, so he should stop and just stick to the facts.

I will still download you and listen to you during each afternoon commute, but mostly for your expert guests and not at all for the unfunny Alan who likes to mention the Wild Card race twice in one podcast in May. That is, unless you feel the need to continue with this insanity or unless Alan’s jokes get worse, there’s really only so much a girl can take.

Sincerely,

Baby “The Twins are always in it” Banana

Speaking of mish-mashes

Debating again, not entirely convinced but almost there.

Do I train for another marathon?  If so, which one? I could enter the lottery for New York, but I won’t find out ’til late summer if I am in which means I would need a back up race. I am not interested in Marine Corps again. Chicago is sold out. Baltimore is open, but the weekend it falls in is desperately close to an international conference that may require my attendance.  Do I register anyway and suck it up if I don’t happen to get into NY?  What other fall marathons are out there that don’t require too much travel?  See, in Chicago and NY I would have a free place to stay. I don’t think I know anyone else I could bum a bed/couch from. Or do I just sign up for Marine Corps since it’s here in my back yard and I am guranteed at least a cheerleader or two? Plus I want one that does deferrments in case I get into NY…Baltimore only does medical deferrments which means I would eat two race fees in I did get into NY.  Ugh. I am boring myself with this discussion, but this is what’s going on in my head.

In baseball news, Sidney Ponson of the Twins was designated for assignment this weekend. Thank God! The bars and food establishments surrounding the Metrodome may feel a little less fat in the pockets now, but it’s really best for everyone that he go.  Perhaps the tides of Lake Superior won’t be so crazy anymore.

Joe Mauer has a strained quad. I’ve been sleeping quite restlessly these past few days.  Apparently the image of hot, strained quadriceps gets me a little worked up.

I have more Fiesta Salad for lunch today. Yum.

BPS

BPS – Battered Pitcher Syndrome

Not to be confused with SPS (Shelled Pitcher Syndrome) of which John Patterson, Tony Armas and Jeff Weaver are currently suffering.

No, BPS is much rarer. In fact, I only know of one case.  That of one, Carl Pavano.

In lay terms, BPS is a reference to any pitcher who, because of constant and physical abuse by a teammate, manager, owner, batboy or groundskeeper becomes depressed and unable to take any independent action that would allow him to escape the abuse. The condition explains why abused pitchers often spend inordinate amounts of time on the Disabled List or fail to make legitimate attempts to leave the abusive situation via trade, retirement or what have you.

Hard to diagnose, BPS is quite uncommon but in the presence of undisputable violence and injury and months, nay years spent on the DL, Pavano’s case is quite easy to diagnose. 

I give you the facts:
2007 injuries: Elbow strain, forearm tightness, bone bruise to the foot.

2006 injuries: Bruised buttocks (that’s his ass people!), 2 broken ribs, back soreness, bone chips in the elbow.

2005 injuries: Rotator cuff tendinitis and other undisclosed injuries.

This history of (of just these reported) violent injuries leads us to just one conclusion, the New York Yankees have been abusing poor Pavano for years and if not stopped, we risk seeing more cases of BPS coming out of New York.  It might be too late to save Pavano, but we have to think of future pitchers, healthy pitchers. The Yankees are on a path to send every last one of their other hurlers into the despressing depths of BPS; look at Mussina (hamstring), Hughes (hamstring), Karstens (broken leg), and the recently returned Wang (hamstring and split fingernail).  The Yankees must be stopped from their battering abuse!  Watch out Clemens!  You might just end up with mallet finger.

Busy bee! Busy busy bee!

So yeah. Busy.

And  now “busy” looks like a non-word to me, just a jumble of letters that don’t make much sense.  Isn’t it funny how that happens?

I feel like I was all over the place last week; for it was truly a week of planes, trains and automobiles.  Baltimore, NYC, Chicago and Milwaukee. Two flights, one train, lots of Metro, rental car, MY car, someone else’s car, countless taxis and my good ol’ two feet–all done in five days or less.

Now throw in ridiculously frequent allergy fits, two baseball games, extra innings (sadly ended with a Pujols 3-run jack), a sausage race*, a new (video!) iPod, fund-raising efforts for the Race for Hope team I’ve captained, a newly reinstated date night with the wifey and various attempts to keep fit you can see why I am exhausted, but happy.

*The Chorizo won, by the way.  And if you were wondering it is now available on the menu at Miller Park (just like the other sausages; the Bratwurst, the Polish sausage, the Hot Dog and the Italian sausage) and is served on a tortilla with salsa.  Although my own personal taste tester perferred the Brat over the newly sampled Chorizo. I have to take his word for it though, for I stuck with the house specialty, Miller Lite.

If you ever get the chance or the inkling to go to Miller Park, do it!  It’s a great park, Brewers fans are awesome, the food offerings are fantastic, the tailgating is to die for and you can stay and drink (and eat) and watch the ground crew until 12:00a.m.

Opening of what?

For all that is good and holy, every single American should go to Opening Day at least one time in their lives…and points for attending an Opening Day game that falls on such a picture-perfect day as yesterday.

Bliss.

The idea started innocently enough, I love baseball and have more than a handful of baseball-loving friends. I also enjoy taking time off of work and this year’s season opener happened to fall during a period of relative quietness on the job. So the question was posed, is there anyone that would like to go in on day-of, cheap seats and take the day off to go to the last Opening Day to be held at good ol’ RFK? 

A chorus of resounding yeses.

Projecting my excitment for my prospective attendace at this season’s first Nats game onto a friend living in Chicago, he retorted…amazed, “Niiiice! How did you score that?”.

In a slightly confused tone, “I asked my girlfriends if they wanted to go with me.”

“But, wow, you scored Opening Day tickets?”

With full realization now, “Oh, honey, I don’t even HAVE tickets yet. The Nats don’t sell out…this is not Wrigley here.” It might have been this simple, factual* statement that would foreshadow the outcome of yesterday’s game but it’s one of the reasons I love the Nats–one doesn’t need the stress of scouring Craig’s List for tickets, just show up. Pay your $9. Grab a beer and have a seat.  You might have to wait 30 minutes-plus for a tasty sausage, but when the baseball Gods bestow a sunshiny, blue-skied Monday to kick off the 131st season of the national pastime, you don’t really care…

Just like you don’t care… 

…when the lunch-time riders roll their eyes at the packed Metro train headed to Stadium Armory. Suckers just don’t know.

…when the business man on the Metro says “Opening of what?” when you tell him that the reason the trains are so packed is because of Opening Day.  Just smile and shake your head and extoll the virtues of a healthy Patterson and young Zimmerman.

…when the home-team loses and your ace pitcher gets shelled and guys are going down with injuries in every other inning. You just shrug your shoulders and hope for the next one.

…when you can’t find the bar you were looking for to hit up after the game. You just stop at the first one you see and order a pitcher of margaritas.

You don’t care because it’s Monday and you skipped work with two girlfriends in tow and went to a baseball game.  Good times. Good times.

*The Nats did sell out the inagural home opener, but not last year and not this year.

I am so going to score on Monday…

Well not me, but someone is and I am going to watch.  Woohoo!

I am officially taking a half day off of work this coming Monday in honor of Opening Day.  Like I said, it won’t be me scoring…but perhaps Zimmerman, Guzman, hell maybe even our boy Patterson?  That last one is doubtful, but as spring training turns into regular season, a girl can dream.

This baseball season will also mark my first foray into Fantasy Baseball.  I have been a fan of the fantasy football for quite a few years but have always been intimidated by the long, dedicated season fantasy baseballers endure. Not this year–Liars & Crybabies has officially entered the fray – I draft tonight.  Whee!