MKR: Project Grossness

If you are ever feeling a lack of disgustingness in your life, I suggest that you rip up your old kitchen floors.  And making sure that your kitchen is more than 60 years old will help you achieve maximum grossness.

Step one in replacing the kitchen floor = ripping up what was already there = absolutely nasty

Going in, we knew that the floors were linoleum. We also knew (or were 95% sure) there was at least one other floor underneath that linoleum. Bossman Mom and resident HGTV expert informed us that we could not lay tile over the existing floor because in order for things to be sound, you cannot have more than two floors laid down at a time. Apparently the previous owners did not have the same knowledge because we ripped up two layers of linoleum and one layer of peel-n-stick flooring.  I am guessing that one of those linoleom layers was the original floor…it was almost indistinguishable as a floor, but a hint of octagonal pattern peeked out at us once we pulled out the stove.  It took us (read: Dad) about an hour to rip out each layer using a combo of brut strength and a crowbar. He did find a wedding  band in the mess.  Makes me wonder about all the past owners of this place, what were they like? What did they do? Why did they install the front door’s chain lock on backwards?

Once all the big pieces were ripped up and thrown out on the lawn, we tried to chisel out the stubborn pieces so we could get to the nice (I am using the term loosely), even concrete base.  After thirty minutes work only cleared an area about the size of a piece of toast, we knew what we had to do.  We had to go find a ho(e). A professional that could blow through that mess quickly. Heh.

A field trip to the Ho(me) Depot, turned up several options. I didn’t like the look of the ho(es), plus they were expensive! But what I did spy was what looked like a garden version of an over sized ice scrapper, it looked perfect for scrapping hardened gunk off concrete and it was only $12!  Done.  Screw those $20 ho(es)…who needs ‘em?

Back home with my new weapon (I seriously think it will replace the hockey stick that currently resides next to my bed), three of us took turns scrapping crap off the floor.  Being that this was last week when it was 100 degrees outside and that I don’t have central air, just two wall units neither of which is in the kitchen, it was ridiculously sweaty work, scrapping up that floor.  It took most of the afternoon getting the floor into something we could use.

Next step was to lay down the subfloor, we used 1/2″ backer board to keep things level with the wood floor in the dining area and to help retard anything the decides it wants to grown under the tiles.  Dad and little bro D scored and snapped the pieces in place and then D and I slapped down the mortar to cement in the backer board.

Viola! A sub floor.

Next: Laying the tiles.

Read about my electrical woes and more kitchen renovation adventures by clicking here.

MKR: The Countertop Edition

Yes I am still renovating. Yes, it’s true that the kitchen is still not finished. After halting all work for June (too much travel) I am gearing back up again for a renovation session this weekend with the family.

I believe I left you with a big pile of granite tile in my living room. Well, those tiles are now permanently residing as my countertops and that shiny Kohler sink is officially installed. The glass shades for the overhead pendant light fixture were also finally purchased. So things are starting to take a turn for the pretty.

The installation for the counter and sink took three days–one and a half that I was present for. Mad props to the family, they are amazing.

DAY 1 - We started on a Saturday, ripping out the old Formica counters and cutting the substrate to fit. This was tough because it was pouring outside which meant dear old Dad wanted to make the plywood cuts indoors. Circular saw + plywood + my dining room was going to equal a mother load of sawdust. And I am still battling sawdust from refinishing the freaking cabinets, so needless to say I was getting a little worried. Plus, I had to leave the install to go attend Buggie’s Graduation BBQ and who knows what fantastical things they might have decided to do in my absence. Fortunately, there was a break in the weather, so they were able to make the plywood and backer board cuts outside. Phew.

While brother and I headed of for the party, Mom, Dad, bother-in-law and little sis all stayed and cut and fit the plywood and backer board in. So for the next day, we started with this (look how big the space for the sink is!):

DAY 2 — We started by marking the cuts on the tiles. We would turn them over and run a pencil along the cut line and then tape off the section of tile that need to be cut away. The countertop opposite of the one in the picture above is almost a perfect square without any cutouts so we started there. My Dad cut all the tile himself, save for the pieces my brother did towards the end of the day (not that we didn’t TRY to have Home Depot make two tricky cuts for us, but they were, shall we say, not helpful in that area).

After all the cuts were made we dry fit the tiles into place to make sure everything was kosher and all nice and even. Most of the cuts were right on, just a few needed some shaving either on the tile saw Dad was manning outside, or the hacksaw my brother was using for the slimmest of cuts. Once we determined that everything was going to fit, it was time to mix the granite mortar mix. A project little bro and Mom left me and Dad to take care of. Looked simple enough, the instructions were in the form of a pictogram (which I should have taken a picture of, but didn’t). The pictogram showed a measured amount of water to be poured in a bucket and then the mortar mix to be added to the water, and then constant and vigorous stirring for a specified amount of time–thusly creating a type of cement. We measured the water and poured it in the bucket. Check. Dad lifted the 50lb bag of mortar mix and started pouring it into the water-filled bucket while I stirred in a very witch-cauldron-stew kind of way. Check check. Before Dad got half of the bag of mix in the bucket it became obvious that if we were to continue, stirring would immediately have to stop, for there was clearly not enough water to keep things liquidy and the cement, she was getting harder by the minute. We added some unprescribed water and continued our quest, only to hit another cement wall, literally. Dad and I silently determined the pictogram was bogus and we were officially going to do this off the cuff. I added more water.

Dad (yelling): What’s this stuff supposed to look like?

Mom (referencing her bank of HGTV knowledge): It’s supposed to have the consistency of peanut butter.

Dad (looking into the bucket as I am stirring): Chunky or Smooth?

Mom:

Me: Giggle

It’s obvious that we are too loose for peanut butter, so we add a bit more mortar mix in, much to my chagrin because damn, this shit is hard to stir. And the prescribed stir time is something like twelve minutes so every time we tinker with the recipe we start the timer over.

I lift up the stir stick (we are using a broom handle) to test it’s consistency, and it’s a little drippy. Dad tells me to keep stirring while he adds a little more mix in and again restarts the timer.

Me (tiring fast and groaning): Dad, you stir. My abs hurt. (Seriously, you had to stir with your whole body)

Dad (taking the stick): Wuss

After a minute and a half Dad is sweating. He tests the consistency, it’s definitely thicker, but it’s still a little drippy. Dad wonders aloud if peanut butter would drip off the end of a knife. He then determines, aloud, the no, peanut butter should not drip.

Me: Not true! My natural peanut butter is very drippy.

Dad (yelling): Is it supposed to be like natural peanut butter or the regular kind?

Mom (yelling): What? How the hell should I know!

Me: Giggle

Dad’s stirring is slowing so I take over. It’s getting thicker. We start taking two-minute shifts. I try to entice my freakishly strong brother to come stir, he takes two turns around the bucket and hands us back the stick. This shit is hard. I mean have you ever mixed cement by hand? Heysoos. Here is the bane of our existence that day:

So we finally get to peanut butter stage. Now it’s sloppy time. Using a 1/4″ x 3/8″ x 1/4″ trowel we slap that stuff on the counters and start laying tile. That apparently is a large grooved trowel, good for getting a good grip on the tile, but hard to make adjustments once you’ve laid it down. So we spent the next hour pushing and wiggling to get our lines and corners straight.  Mortaring is oddly like frosting a cake. I like it. I take pride in making nice trowel lines.  Can you guess which picture shows my mortar job?

Oh my gosh, once we straightened everything out, it looked amazing! After all the tile was laid down we taped down the areas that might decide to move on their own…just so we didn’t run into any surprises as the cement dried overnight.

Day 3 — Now it’s Monday and I am at work, but the family is over at my house finishing the install. The tiles need to be grouted and the sink now needs to be installed. The grouting goes fine according to my mom’s play-by-play text messages. It’s the sink that causes a bit of a hullabaloo between the bro and the dad. Apparently it’s not the easiest thing in the world to go from a shallow-depth, single basin sink to a two basin version that is double the depth. Seems that new and confusing plumbing fixtures are needed. And as I was informed via screaming in the background when my mother called to confess their difficulties “[THEY] ARE NOT PLUMBERS!” Who knew?

Well they might not be plumbers, but they are geniuses and of course they figured it out and when I came home that Monday night, oh my god. It was amazing.

Here is a side by side of the before and after:

Next: This weekend that linoleum floor gets ripped up! More demolition, woo!

You can read up on My Kitchen Renovation (MKR) that has been slowly eking along by clicking here.

MKR: The waiting game

Am still working on that pesky kitchen!

So last weekend I was in Boston for this girl’s graduation from Boston University. Way to go Bugger!  (She has been (cum) lauded here by JessT.) Not being deterred by my non-presence, the family came over and worked their free labor magic by installing some über cool custom cabinet organizers in the lower cabinets, re-hinging some of the doors and adding the new cabinet hardware as well.

They also delivered the new sink, the faucet and went to pick up my oh-so-gorgeous granite tiles - all of which is now sitting in my living room practically burning a hole through the floor because it’s all just so damned pretty and I can’t stand it anymore! Can a sink be pretty? Mine is! Here is the photo off the Kohler website. However, my sink will be paired with the faucet pictured below from Pegasus.

The sink is freaking HUGE! HUGE! It’s going to be so amazing once it’s installed. Has anyone ever called a sink “amazing” before? Well this one is. I special ordered a wire drying basket for the sink basin on the left, it’s formed to fit the funky, curvy shape. I also bought a mini cutting board that fits over the bottom portion of the sink. Am trying to save counter space which is at a high premium in my small, galley kitchen…so even though my new sink is WAY bigger than the old one, it will allow me to take the dish rack off the counter top next to the sink, giving me an entirely new space to utilize and make dirty! Woo!

Went shopping with the ‘rents this weekend at Lowes to pick up the makings for the substrate (that is backerboard and plywood), the mortar mix, the grout, new plumbing accouterments needed to accommodate a double sink and a water filter that installs under the sink and gives you filtered water right out of the unadorned faucet. Which means…

…counter tops and sink go in this weekend!

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Cannot express how happy I am. I lost my camera recently, but will try to get the family to bring one so I can take lots of pictures of the install.

Read all previous My Kitchen Renovation (MKR) posts here.

MKR: Decisions

If you are so inclined, you can read full up on MKR (My Kitchen Renovation) here.

So no, I have not given up the kitchen project after poking the beast a few weeks ago. If you remember, when I left you I had no light in the kitchen. Well, God is good and thar she blows and well, the electrician came back and wow, light is a glorious thing. GLORIOUS! I have an overhead fixture in my kitchen for the first time in years! It’s practically life changing. It’s been at least two full weeks with it installed and working and I am still not in the habit of turning it on when I am in there…I find myself halfway through chopping a green pepper when the realization dawns that I do not have to do this task in the dark. Hallelujah is all I can say.

I have been stalled for a couple of weeks searching for a granite tile reseller. My Mom tracked down a manufacturer called Benissimo who makes granite tiles that mimic the look of custom-cut granite slab countertops. (This is the option I chose as tiling the counter means I can get free labor, where ordering a slab means I would get the 50-60% upcharge for professional installation. ) So after a failed visit to Woodbridge, several “no we don’t sell that anymore”’s, and at least one circular conversation I found a reseller in Fredrick, MD. The same Fredrick, MD that is a zillion miles away. But they were sweet as pie on the phone and what with having no luck with anything remotely nearby, I hopped in the car last Saturday and drove up there. Stroup Floor Center is super, they have tons of stuff, and they were more than willing to show me the Benissimo tiles I came for (I’d had trouble with this because it is geared towards DIYers and the flooring places don’t like it and keep trying to sell you on their installed products instead). Done, easy peasy, right?

No. Of course when I got there and saw the tiles in person, my mind changed and unchanged and well, I had no idea which color tile to go with. On the web, I had thought it would be an easy choice between the Giallo Amalfi and possibly the Platinum Quartz. But no, when I got there neither of those were in serious contention and I was heavily conflicted between Verde Natural, Grigio Classico and possibly the Giallo Amalfi. The salesperson told me I had to take them home, it was imprudent to decide in the store and practically shoved me out to my car with three large tiles to fret over. He assured me that the choice would be obvious almost immediately.

Uh, not so much.

I am totally conflicted between the Verde Natural and the Grigio Classico (now called “brown” and “gray” respectively). The brown is tinged with green which is what is holding me back from this one. The gray is surprisingly gorgeous, although I am unsure it fits with the “modern Tuscan touch” I am looking for in there.

I called my mother, she said “gray?!?” on the phone. I sent her pictures. Now she is of the same mindset as me. Conflicted.

This is what I am dealing with:

Brown

Gray

The photo behind the tiles is my inspiration for my backsplash. So I think I am leaning towards the brown, a little bit. Anyone have any opinions?

MKR: a.k.a. Poking the Beast

I would say I am now officially in the middle of this endeavor. The walls, they are all yellow.

Glorious yellow. Well, Wildflower Honey to be exact.

Sunny beautiful yellow. As of last Sunday, I am totally starting to feel the “modern Tuscan touch” I have been going for. Wheee! All it took was some paint on the walls (and my hair). I always wanted blonde highlights?

Why I can’t remember to put on a baseball cap when I paint is beyond me. Clearly I enjoy picking paint out of my hair for weeks on end. Anyway, after my Mom, sister and I got done with the two coats of paint, brother-in-law and DaddyBanana (shown below) were on hand to install new, up-to-code electrical outlets and my new overhead lighting fixture because 1.) I have (the) power and 2.) the ceiling has been painted. It this installation process that led us to the determination that my tiny kitchen is on three separate electrical circuits. We kind of found out by accident when brother-in-law was mildly electrocuted when he happened to strip some *live* wires we thought we had turned off. Oops! Sorry bro!

Now, it’s been so long w/o light in the kitchen I could barely wait for this moment. So when the fixture was attached and the specialized light bulbs were screwed in, we made a ceremonial task of flipping the switch.

Nothing.

(Note: Ceremonial task is not shown above, basically because tears and tantrums don’t convey well in photographs.)

No light. Gah! Connections were checked and re-checked. The handy-dandy electrical meters were brought out again (for the 1,000th time it seemed like) and it was determined that the switch for the overhead light was pulling an almost-too-large-to-count 1.2 volts of power. Understand that this is exactly 7.8 volts LESS than your standard 9-volt battery. Oy vey!

Sigh. We poked the beast.

So a note was made to call the friggin electrician again and we went about the task of cleaning up the paintbrushes and paint trays. As I sat on the floor finishing some of the edging, I happened to notice yellow-tinged water from the sink pouring into the cabinet below. Why-oh-why is water leaking from my sink?

Upon close inspection, my dad cannot determine why it is leaking, but does determine that the water is in fact leaking over all of the wonderfully live electrical attachments to the garbage disposal.

Sigh. We poked the beast.

Using my new fuse box, we turned off power to that portion of the kitchen so now I have no lights and no garbage disposal until we can replace the sink–my dad is hoping it’s just a fluke that it started leaking and that the planned replacement of the sink and faucet will remedy the situation. Of course I now MUST replace the disposal because apparently .5HP is not a powerful enough unit. Dear ol’ Dad tells me that I should be able to crush bones and small animals with my disposal and I will need at least a 1.5HP unit.

Okay Dad, whatever you say.

Next up:
~Calling the electrician (again)
~Adding a 2nd coat of primer to the outside of the cabinets
~Shopping for the countertop materials (backerboard, caulk, grout, the granite tiles)
~Shopping for a new sink, faucet and garbage disposal
~Shopping for the glass pane insets for the top cabinets
~Think about replacing the stove (aka BananaBakes HQ)

You can read previous posts about My Kitchen Renovation (MKR) here.

MKR: The beginning comes to a close

I left you all with a photo of my brand-spanking new and freshly patched fuse box last week. That was installed on Good Friday, and with the power turned back on, what a Good Friday it was. A few days later the parents and my brother D came over to finish out the priming and sanding.

Walls and ceiling were primed with latex Kilz primer (so much nicer than the oil-based stuff needed for the cabinets) and holes were sanded, smoothed and touched-up as necessary.

Mom and I also finished painting the interior space of the cabinetry - the color is a uber creamy off-white called Magnolia Blossom. She’s been busy at her house painting all the cabinet doors and drawers the same color.

I am going to paint the inside back wall of the cabinets a sage or a light celery to match a yet to be purchased green tile I will use on the the back splashes. That’s why the backs of the top cabinets still show the whitewashed primer look.

I don’t have any lights in the kitchen yet, the brother in law will come over next time to install the overhead fixture and reassess my wants for accent and task lighting. Now that we know I have full on cinder blocks hiding in my walls, he may not be able to do what he thought he could as far as drilling to hide electrical wires and installing new switches.

But, woo hoo, a drama-free MKR day!

Next stop: paint on the walls! And lights! Gah and I need to start shopping for granite tiles for the counter tops…

You can read previous My Kitchen Renovation (MKR) posts here.

So, more about my box…

You can read how it failed here.

Wanna see a picture of it?

Kinda gross, huh? Well this is what it looked like after the old fuse box was removed and before the new one was put in. And to answer the question from yesterday, it takes approximately 7 hours to put in a new box.

Seven freaking hours.

Perhaps it wouldn’t take seven hours if one’s fuse box was housed like other, more normal and less retarded fuse boxes. But considering that the brown sandy gunk you see in the photo is basically concrete set behind a layer of sheet rock you can imagine how difficult it would be to remove it. Perhaps you can’t imagine, let me give you a closer look….

And now here is a photo of how much crap had to come out of the wall in order to get the “box area” to look like the photos above:

Looks like fun, eh? So the poor electrician, thinking this a fairly simple job, finally realizes around Noon that the old box wasn’t coming out with a fight. That rubble above was born from a generator-powered power saw thingy applied to my kitchen wall. Eeep! Needless to say I spent most of the afternoon with my eyes and ears covered, whimpering on my sofa.

At one point the electrician yelled out, “Oh my God!”. Which gave me a mild heart attack, as those are not really the words you hope to hear escape your electrician’s mouth. But apparently that is the appropriate response when one realizes that the contact board inside one’s fuse box has been left dangling inside one’s wall, attached by nothing except the incoming live wires. Yeah.

So around 2pm he finally is at the point where he can start hooking up the new fuses. That is a mere 5 hours later. Poor guy, he really had no clue. By 4:30 he is done and trying to bolt out of my house, apparently he has more calls to attend to. I guess this is how those pesky service/installation folks end up horribly behind schedule? Oops? Sorry?

Whatevs, check out my new box:

MKR: Still the Beginning

See My Kitchen Renovation - The (Real) Beginning here.

We didn’t get far on Day 2, which coincided with the day before I had to leave for Boca which basically meant I was a hot mess already and did not need the added aggravation of packing and getting ready for a meeting in Florida sans power. But that’s what happens when you start poking around 68 year old structures; you find double ceilings and end up blowing your fuse box.

To be fair I did not lose power entirely. No, at the end of the day my fridge was still running along with two random wall outlets–one connected to my television and the other in my bedroom. So it’s not like I was cavemaning it.

Things started off mildly enough, the ‘rents came over along with my sister and her hubby (who is going to be doing my electrical work). We quickly got busy with priming, yes the super fun oil-based priming. Since last week it was the cabinets that got it, this week we needed to hit up the newly repaired doors and drawers. What a messy job. I took everything outside but in the cold and the wind, I kept freezing my ass off and getting wind-blown drop sheets and dead bugs stuck to the fresh paint. I was just glad it was just primer, no need for a perfect finish…yet.

As the cabinet doors basked in the cold sunlight, brother-in-law and I headed to Home Depot for a shopping spree of electrical paraphernalia. $150 worth of new outlets, switches, hoses and stuff came home with us and he promptly got started ripping out the old hardware.

“Flip the power off in the kitchen.” he yells.

I comply and flip the breaker we think controls power to the kitchen. A non-responsive electrical gauge proves my guess right and he proceeds to make the first switch. Out with the old dingy, yellowing outlet, in with the shiny, new white one. Enter: Mom. She needs the power back on to check out some of her paint-work. Breaker gets flipped back on. Work is checked. Exit: Mom.

“Flip the power off again.” yells my make-shift electrician.

Dad, beating me to the punch, flips half the breakers on the panel to the off position. More is better in Dad-World I guess. Another new piece of hardware goes in, this time the switch for the disposal. Ooooh, it’s so exciting!

“Let’s test it!” I exclaim.

Dad goes for the breaker and flips the lot of them, “on”. Funny thing happens this time: nothing. Breakers are flipped off and then on again…still nothing. We rush around to the other rooms, checking for signs of electricity. Just the TV, my alarm clock in the bedroom and the refrigerator. Nothing else. No lights, no phone charger, no disposal, nothing except those three outlets.

While there is still sunlight, I go and finish priming the doors and drawers. My mom and sister finish painting the interior of the cabinets the creamy white I picked out for them and the boys run to Home Depot for new fuses.

Thirty minutes later, the boys return crestfallen. Home Depot is closed. No new fuses. No power for Marci. I start freaking out about packing for my trip in the dark and usher the fam out of the house. My dad leaves me with an 80-foot extension cord to which I connect my one and only table lamp with my one of three working outlets. By 9pm, I have removed the shade from said table lamp and am walking around the house like Paul Revere. Well if Paul Revere had had a 60-watt bulb instead of a candle-lit lantern.

Having no power is not such a big deal when you are working at a resort in Boca Raton, FL for a week. But the boys were good to me and while I was gone took it upon themselves to do some research and made a closer inspection of the fuse box. They came to the conclusion that it was dead. (Joy.) There was power coming into the box, but aside from those three circuits, there was none coming out of it. And even more research found that these lovely 68-year old fuses are $45 a piece and come with a 60% failure rate.

Lovely.

Next up, Exactly How Long Does It Take For One To Get a New Box, Really?

(Betcha didn’t even know you could buy new ones, heh.)

My Kitchen Renovation: The Beginning

Being covered head to hand in oil-based primer is not nearly as hot as it may sound.

Yesterday saw the start of the mini-renovation of my kitchen (henceforth to be referred to as MKR for My Kitchen Renovation or Mini Kitchen Renovation). I call it “mini” because all labor will be of the free variety; those that have donated time in lieu of gifts at last summer’s birthday or those that are related to me by either blood or marriage. Also, things will not so much be replaced as “updated”.

Cut to: The oil-based primer that is currently residing in my hair, under my fingernails, and splattered from my knuckles to my elbows. Apparently oil-based primer does not remove itself from one’s body without the use of such lovely chemicals as turpentine, lye or gasoline. Not having any of those staples in my house (the blasphemy!), I was forced to go to work today looking like I got a ride with some day laborers. Hot.

The entire MKR will entail:

-Painting of the walls
-Painting of the cabinets
-Creating glass doors for some of the cabinets
-Tiling of both the sink and stove-side back splashes
-Removal of the Formica counter tops
-Installing tiled counter tops
-Removal of the linoleum floor
-Installing a tiled floor
-Installation of overhead, accent and task lighting
-Installation of some additional shelving/storage
-Replacing the sink and faucet
-Adding shiny, pretty hardware to the cabinets
-And whatever else we can convince my Dad that he can do with some strange power tool

Yesterday, the entire family came over to see the start of MKR. My brother and my dad sanded down the cabinets (and yes inhaling wood dust will cause you to snot it out for the next 24-hours) and my mom and I primed them. This is all necessary so the latex paint we apply will actually stick to the crap-ass wood. Note: This step is necessary for painting all wood cabinets, crap-ass or not. And don’t let this little short paragraph about this step fool you. It is a PAIN IN THE ASS to sand and prime cabinets. Woody snot notwithstanding.

While I was busy splattering myself in the face with primer (and inhaling tiny particles of wood), my brother-in-law was quickly tallying up more and more quirky “features” unique to owning a condo built in the 1940’s. Like, how ’bout the fact that I have two kitchen ceilings? One finished ceiling about 7′ 9″ high, and another finished ceiling about 8′ 3″ high. Yeah. One ceiling on top (or below) another ceiling. It seems that in the haste to update these “modern-day apartment homes” back in the day, they just threw up a quick, lower ceiling so they could install fluorescent lighting in the kitchens. (Important to mention here that the original walls are plaster and impossible to nail, even drill through and they probably chose to install the new ceiling because that was easier than trying to mount the lighting directly to the plaster. Also important to mention that I have double walls throughout my place as well, one set plaster, one set sheet rock. Double walls, double ceiling. Joy.)

So MKR Day 1:
(COMPLETED) Sanding of the cabinets
(COMPLETED) Priming of the cabinets
(HOMEWORK FOR DAD) Repairing bad drawers and cabinet doors

MKR Day 2 is this Sunday, on slate is priming the walls (with latex primer) and painting them in WildFlower Honey. So stay tuned…

Here is a before pic:

And another one with me and Buggie in it (you can see the floors in this one).