Entries categorized as ‘Funny’
If Paris Hilton is defending your parenting skills, you have problems kid. I’m just saying, having the press photograph your propensity to keep your cooter uncovered might just be the better deal if the flipside is having Paris send out a plea on your behalf. Although I imagine Britney, upon hearing of this message, would say something country like “Aw, Paris is, like, sooo sweet y’all! I can’t believe she’d be, like, sooo nice to me. It, like, totally makes up for the time she wouldn’t let me ‘borrow’ * some of her panties.” *use air quotations here, as opposed to “real” ones. As posted on Hilton’s MySpace:
Lately, you’ve been seeing pics of me and Britney partying (blah blah) and she nows that some of her fans are very upset about what they call her “behavior” and sadly they’re blaming the issue on her being friends with me. Yeah, me and Brit have become really close in the past few weeks, and we’ve gone out alot in the past few nights, but I never influence anything she does, and neither does anyone else. Brit is her own person and she deals with her own things everyday. For people to call out her parenting skills on behalf of her partying ethics is appalling. Britney loves her kids to death, and I know for a fact that it truly hurts her when she sees these cruel things being written about her. She goes home every night to her babies and partying has not come in the way of her parenting. Anyone who has called her out on this should really be ashamed. There are thousands of mothers out there who like to go out and have a good time. But, you do not see people out there calling them “bad parents” She’s young, and if she wants to go out and have some fun, let her. Just because she does these things does not mean she doesn’t care about her children. For the sake of Britney and her kids, be kind.
Love, Paris
Categories: Funny · Inside My Head
Even better if it’s sport snark.
To celebrate the beginning of the NHL season, I leave you with this hilarious ESPN Page 2 article by DJ Gallo (of SportsPickle fame).
NHL for Dummies
An excerpt:
WASHINGTON CAPITALS
Alexander Ovechkin is so exciting with the puck that he can make an entire arena hush in anticipation of what he will do next. Granted, the Verizon Center is almost always silent anyway because there are rarely ever any fans there, but my point still stands: Alexander Ovechkin is an exciting player. Unfortunately, the Capitals don’t have much help for him. So let’s just hope Washington regularly releases videos of Ovechkin going against his teammates in practice. That must be an amazing amount of scoring to witness.
Fun Fact: U.S. Congressman Mark Foley owns an Alexander Semin Capitals jersey that he often wears while chatting online.
Categories: Funny · Sports
Do I take a crack at it? Heh, crack at it. Hahaha. It’s just so easy and people much funnier than I have already thrown their crass captions into the ring. But we’re talking endless opportunities here people.
Hey, how about I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours?
Categories: Funny
As blurbed in WaPo Express:
A lake in Wielkopolska, Poland, went from being freshwater to 30 percent vodka earlier this month after a nearby distillery leaked into it, the Mirror reported. Following technical problems at the plant, chemists confirmed the alcohol level and residents crowded around Lake Bracholinksie, filling their boats with the water – which was three times a potent as wine.
I think I am going on vacation to Poland now.
Categories: Funny
I know we all get the random/funny/strange/disturbing/odd search strings that bring unsuspecting folk to our blogs. I’ve recapped them, you’ve recapped them, it’s been done. I get it. But…
“stupid lame gross extreme funny”
I mean, c’mon! If anything were to sum me up, it would be that. Well except for the extreme part, I am not so very extreme. But stupid? Yup. Gross? Uh-huh. Lame? Oh, you bet. Funny? Well, I like to think so. I don’t think I’ve ever had a more apropos search string attached to my ramblings. Today at 1:50am someone in Oregon stumbled across this baby banana and tried to figure out if I was those things, I think I am. I wonder if they agree–it took ‘em 2 minutes 34 seconds and four page views to decide.
I think I’m in.
Categories: Funny
funny lookin’
OMG. This is so much better than the Super Bowl Shuffle. Seriously folks. Lip synching and fake instrument playing and mullets! Real-live mullets!
Calgary Flames: 1987 “Red Hot” Video
Thanks to Rich for the link, I totally pilfered.
Categories: Funny · Sports
Bug’s been wanting to see what Hangover Barbie is all about for a while now and since I mentioned her recently and I am babysitting the company’s digital camera, I thought I’d oblige.
Internet, meet Hangover Barbie:
Things to note about Hangover Barbie:
~ The large, Barbie-sized, Venti Starbucks cup
A large, espresso-laden beverage is always a necessity when at work in the morning after a long night
~Missing earring
Earrings always mysteriously disappear after lots of grown-up beverages, why is that?
~Scraped knees
From falling down drunk on the sidewalk just a few hours prior to showing up at work
~Pain-killers
The coffee won’t do it alone. Drugs should aid in extinguishing the average hangover
~Care-free hairstyle
You just woke up 30 minutes ago, your boss is lucky you are even at work. Styled-hair is optional and certainly not expected
~Blood-shot eyes
‘Nuff said
~Hickey on the lip
A drinking girl’s got to get her smooch on
~Last night’s smeared eye make-up
Wash your face? Waaa? You barely made it to bed!
and finally…
~The large (for Barbie) bottle of scotch
Because we all know the only way to treat a hangover is with more booze
Categories: Funny
If so, I wonder what this series of photographs is saying to me.
October 10, 2005. Game 5 ALDS – Final Score: Angels 5, Yankees 3
But in the second inning… Garry Sheffield and Bubba Crosby both go for the fly hit by Adam Kennedy.
Sheffield: My butt may be bigger than yours, but you’re white and you know what that means…
Sheffield: …it means I will nail you to this wall with my thigh of steel
Sheffield: Seriously boy, where do you think you are going? Feel my thigh! Feel it!
Crosby: Mmm, buttocks.
Sheffield: Boy, homey don’t play that!
Crosby: Mmm, c’mon let me smell it!
Categories: Funny · Sports
In honor of Mark’s recent visit to DC, I am posting this (I’ve never met Mark, but he is Bug’s friend, and he tells the funniest anecdotes that Bug politely recites back to me). This is also for you Jen, if you are still out there, and your new Miami friend–maybe he’s interested? And also for those of us that have not experienced a Dirty Sanchez, now is the chance! Get it while it’s hot!
Dirty Sanchez Cookies
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 large egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon of salt
Icing:
2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup milk
Yellow food coloring
Various decorator icings and gels
Can of ready to spread chocolate cake frosting
Using electric mixer, beat powdered sugar and butter in large bowl until light. Beat in egg and vanilla. Add flour, baking powder and salt. Mix just to combine. Divide dough in half. Gather each piece into ball; flatten into disks. Wrap in plastic and chill 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 325°F. Roll out 1 dough disk on floured work surface to 1/8-inch thickness. Cut out cookies in the smiley faces wearing sombreros. Transfer cookies to ungreased baking sheets, spacing 1 inch apart.
Bake cookies until golden, about 13 minutes. Transfer cookies to racks; cool.
Mix powdered sugar and milk till smooth. Add a drop of yellow food coloring to the rest of the icing to make it happy-face colored. Spread on cookies. Allow to dry and harden. Use other frostings or decorator gels to fill in eyes, smile, and color in the sombreros. Let frosting dry and harden for about an hour. Open chocolate cake frosting and dip your index finger into it, scooping up a dollop. Spread the fingerful of frosting liberally above upper lip to make a “mustache.”
Para mis amigos lascivos!
Categories: Baking · Funny
Categories: Baseball · Funny
