Third time’s a charm

I think last I spoke about this, it was March and I was hell bent on buying a stove.  Well I did buy a stove that weekend in March…but it took nearly 12 weeks and two botched delivery attempts before it actually appeared in my kitchen.  But now I can finally say, I have a completely working kitchen…just 15 months after I began my kitchen renovation. Slow and steady wins the race?

Basically this is what happened:
~ Sears sales person #1 = idiot and sends my order through a distribution center that does not deliver to Arlington.
~ Distribution center #1 = asshole and cancels said order from the system completely.
~ Sears system = jacked because the above move means there is now no record that I actually paid nearly $1,000 for a major kitchen appliance.
~ I spend 4 hours on the phone with Sears. Joy.
~ Sears sales person #2 = nice, but inappropriate. He asks me out. I don’t think I sound that cute on the phone. I question whether I should really be spending this kind of money with a group of idiots.
~ Sears sales person #2 knocks the price down over $200. I am no longer seething.
~ Must wait six more weeks for the next available delivery date.
~ Wait patiently. Finally get the delivery confirmation call the day before delivery.
~ Installer #1 shows up! Joy! Real joy this time!
~ But then I see he has brought the wrong stove.
~ Joy dissipates.
~ Installer #1 argues that this is the stove! His papers match for gosh sakes!
~ Politely (no, really) explain papers don’t mean jack and that he doesn’t have my stove so he should probably just be on his way.
~ Installer #1 leaves. Blames fault on Distribution Center #2. I tend to agree.
~ I place a phone call to Sears to tell them about the black stove that showed up instead of the stainless one. They try to tell me that stainless steel appliances are a mix of black and steel. I politely (not really) inform them I am not an idiot.
~ Sears promises to call me back.
~ They don’t.
~ I get mad.
~ Sears manager = jerk and I am forced to call back the store several times over the course of a week to get an answer.
~ They try to give me $50 to appease me.
~ This does not work.
~ Many phone calls later, they add another $90 off to their offer.
~ I accept it with the promise of a delivery within the next two weeks. It’s been 10 weeks now since my initial purchase.
~ Installer #2 calls to confirm installation. I confirm but an off-hand question about the delivery leads me to realize that they are not actually bringing the stove, but rather just coming to install one that has already been delivered.
~ This is a problem seeing as how I do not currently have a stove waiting to be installed. Installer #2 places a call to Distribution Center #3 to see if they can work something out.
~ Installer #2 = awesome and Sears is still sucking.
~ The next day, Installer #2 shows up with my stove and all the appropriate hoses and valves. I almost cannot believe it.
~ But thar she is…

My love

A frog in my throat

I’ve got something in my throat, a frog, a lump…something, something! Feels like a pill, one that went down too dry. And I did have one of those–some allergy meds I downed before I headed to hang out on Buggie’s couch and breathe her cat dander infested air. It did feel sticky going down, but that was Saturday and I seriously doubt that I have a Chlor-Trimeton still stuck in my freaking throat. I mean there have been glasses of good red wine, gallons of water, a bottle of prosecco, some sparkling pomegranate juice, mugs upon mugs of coffee and several more of green tea. This is not to mention all of the food that has made it’s way down my gaping maw. I mean any of that would have either dissolved or dislodged it by now — or, in all likelihood, it just would have melted on it’s own damned accord, it’s been FOUR days for crissakes. So what’s up? It’s making me crazy.

Go away lump! Go away!

Keep in mind your nearest exit may be behind you

Has anyone else noticed the airlines recent tactic of guilting passengers into paying attention to the safety video?  Do the flight attendants still even do the pantomime routine in conjunction with the video or are they just going with the little passive aggressive stabs made by the people on the video?  God, I really don’t pay attention to those things at all, do I? Although I do hear the not-so-subtle jab at our guilty conscious’ at the beginning of every in-flight safety announcement–hear it, and perhaps feel the tiniest twinge of guilt for about a nanosecond before I go back to reading my book, a trashy magazine (for you can’t read Real Simple or Women’s Fitness on the plane, nope just pictures of gorgeous clothes and accessories or paparazzi-filled pages will do) or trying to figure out the, what seems to be, anti-terrorist lock on the freaking water bottle I just purchased from Hudson News.  Shit, I’ll even read the in-flight magazine detailing the brand of soft-drink available to me at a safe cruising altitude before I watch that safety video again.

 

Well it seems United Airlines has turned to using extreme aural stimulation in addition to shame in order to force passengers to pay attention to the flight safety instructions.  On my most recent United flight, the safety video was so loud I literally could no longer read.  (Although I could write, hence this post you lucky Internet people you.)  The volume started out reasonably enough, but apparently there were not enough of us rapt with attention watching the United Colors of Benetton actors pretend to blow up life vests on the tiny screens above our heads, because about two minutes after the start, the sound was cranked to rock concert-like decibels. I imagine our little Lemming heads all turned up at the same moment to look at the screens (or more precisely to look for the origin of the offending noise) and lo, the noise (read: volume) went down.  Lulled back into normalcy with proper volume-levels, I assume all of our heads then went back to what they had been doing, that is NOT watching the video. And that is precisely  when the volume returned to it’s previous ear-splitting level and that’s where it remained until the stupid…er…informative video was over.

 

I know, I know the video is for my own good.  God forbid I trip over someone trying to exit the plane the wrong way*, I mean clearly Row 10’s nearest exit is behind them, but it would be just my luck (and my due for writing this post) that I would trip over that person from Row 10 and thusly impede my progress to MY nearest exit in the event of a water landing (although I seriously doubt any commercial aircraft in use today is capable of actually landing on water. But I suppose that’s neither here nor there considering we all know that landing is the farthest thing from what the plane would be doing in that scenario).  Anyway, I do not think my doctor would approve of the tactics employed by United Airlines. I know that my seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. No, I will not inflate my life vest inside of the plane. Yes, I will help any small children traveling with me only after I’ve helped myself.  I do look behind me and compare the distance of that exit to the one in front of me. I won’t freak out when my oxygen bag does not inflate and I have done enough yoga that I can put my head between my knees in the event of that unwanted water landing.  Just please don’t make me deaf and force you to bring back the pantomiming for my deaf ass.

 

 

*But seriously God forbid that I am ever forced to exit a plane other than by jetway or rolling stairway.  Not trying to tempt fate here, just yell back at the on-board staff controlling the volume this evening.

 

 

 

Jerks

Yeah, I’m talking to you!

All you runners out there, running around and running and stuff, I don’t like you. (Especially those of you who were out there yesterday during the three hours of 70-degree weather.) Yeah, I snarl when you pass me or perhaps I’ll stare meanly into your eyes as you approach.  But I’m sorry! I don’t mean it, I swear! It’s just that I have jealous tendencies and I get all “wanty” when I see runners cross my path while I am not right there running with them. I could have just run a 16 miler and if I see someone running on my way home, green envy boils up within me.  Now that I am injured and have not run one stride since Jan. 26, it’s horrendously worse…I feel I might snap. So runners beware! Of me!

So the injury: MRI results show what is most likely a bursa sac on the top of my foot near the 1st metatarsal, the the webbing.  Or, there is a random spot of fluid sitting on top of my foot, in between my toe bones that makes it slightly painful to walk and mega-ly painful to run.

Augh. Stupid foot. Stupid doctor.   I am currently waiting to see a specialist since my orthopedist is more of the general kind and would like some other doc, who is apparently more inclined to have a foot fetish, look at me.  That appointment is not for another two weeks.

I don’t know if I can last.

To decide or not to decide, that is the question…but what is the freaking answer?

So it’s true that I started shopping for a laptop back in December. What is also true is that I am horribly indecisive when it comes to spending much over $22.00. This combination translates to the fact that I have yet to purchase said laptop.

I am frugal and not one to make snap decisions, so all the opinions I’ve gathered and research I’ve done have left me in a terrible lurch that essentially boils down to one question:

PC or Mac?

And depending on the day of the week, I will be 98% sure of one or the other. Hell, just today I’ve flip flopped three times, going from pro-Mac to pro-PC to neutrally undecided.

Ugh.

Mac Pros:
~I fit in with the whole Mac mentality
~I do a good bit of photo editing/manipulation
~I am ridiculously impatient, and Mac’s speed and battery life probably won’t annoy me on a daily basis
~I do some graphic design for my job
~I have no less than 3 Apple Genius Bars within a 10-mile radius of my home for troubleshooting
~Tend to have a long life with little trouble

Mac Cons:
~’Spenive
~Lack of available free software (ie, stuff my job could get me)
~Horrible interface with Outlook Web Access (a key component I will be using the computer for)

PC Pros:
~Ability to procure free software from the job
~Readily available free tech support in the form of all the smart, techy people I claim to be my friends, family and co-workers
~Cheap(er)

PC Cons:
~Ugly
~Prone to dysfunction and hackers
~Windows Vista is a sucky OS
~Not as good a value for the money
~Not known to last as long as Macs
~Programs I run will slow processing speeds, thus annoying me on a frequent basis

So I am undecided. And I hate it, it stresses me out. I know it’s all my own damn fault. But I am pleading for your advice. If you have any opinions one way or the other, experiences, rumors, what have you, I’d love to hear them!

You can all stop holding your breath now

Ok so I am officially shopping for a laptop, for my home, for reals. This coming from the girl that has not had internet in her home since she had roommates way back in ‘00, has not ever owned her own computer (I “borrowed” my parent’s old IBM PS2 whilst in college), does not have a microwave oven, nor even a working toaster.

So, this is a big deal.

For the past few years, I’ve gotten myself a year-end present of sorts. Three years ago it was Troy, my blue sofa from Crate & Barrel. Two years ago, it was my new front teeth. Last year, it was trying to pay down some of the 20 of my 80/20 mortgage (lame, I know but I’m responsible what can I say). So I am thinking this year I should get a laptop and an internet connection. I hate the idea of adding a monthly bill to my monthly bills, but I think the inevitable stress reduction that will ensue will make it well worth it. Well, not worth the $40-$80/month I have been quoted today!

What’s with Arlington and the lack o’ ISPs? Do any of you Arlingtonites have cheap internet service? Who do you use? I ain’t shacking up with Verizon FiOS that’s for damn sure.

What, are you going to return it?

Please, please people!

Remove the tags on the sleeves of your winter coats!  You know the ones that say “Kenneth Cole” “Cashmere” in fancy script?  They are not there for you to wear as a badge of honor.  They are like the tags on your mattress…removable! Worse yet are the tags that say “Wool Blend” next to the name of some no-name maker.  Just take a seam ripper, some scissors, or your teeth and rip those suckers off!

Eesh! Why does this bother me so?

Well, frankly my dear, it’s no MNF

Give it up ABC NBC, you are not going to convince me that Sunday Night Football is better than MNF. Your snazzy marketing techniques are just pissing me off. Why pretend like football on a Sunday night was always the place to be — the big, nationally broadcasted game? No! I don’t care how many player, announcer and hall-of-famer testimonials you do, I still remember MNF! It’s only a season removed for crissakes. Ok, you might end up convincing me eventually. I am a sucker for all things NFL after all, but it’s going to take some time so stop shoving it down my throat (hello, I was the one still referring to CVS as “People’s Drug” as late as 2001…I don’t like change, o-kay!). I mean you could at least make it funny, maybe acknowledge whatever media snafus took place to initiate the switch. Humor and acknowledgment are the ways into this girl’s heart. Please and thank you.

Now, onto winning. Specifically, winning at Fantasy Football. Even more specifically winning out over a certain blogger. And yet even that much more specifically, winning BIG over that certain blogger. You know, like winning 100 points to 73? Yeah baby, Roughing the Melons is sitting pretty at the #1 spot after Week 1…the only one in the league to reach triple digits.

Who got me there? Tom Brady did ok for himself with Randy Moss going down field, a lot. Although I wonder how long that will last. Brady does play favorites though, unlike Manning, so maybe Randy will be happy for at least a season getting hit with long balls each week? Ron Curry, Moss’ “replacement” in Oakland put up some decent numbers but that has a lot to do with the opponent (although the Lions actually won) and a lack of other weapons in the Raider arsenal. And it surely wouldn’t be fantasy football if a kicker and a defense weren’t in the picture somewhere as well. To be expected, Jason Elam had a good game. The kid’s pretty consistent, he’s done me right the past two seasons so I will expect the same for this year. More surprisingly I milked 29 points out of the Viking Defense — an up and coming squad last year. I am just hoping for more of the same, turnovers, run backs and a strong D-line. Someone let the dogs out last weekend and the Vikes were able to roll over a harried Harrington. Gooooooo Melons!

 

 

Ugh. And people, you all need to stop letting me go to Chicago!
It’s really not helping at all, ok?

54.2

So, the mileage is creeping up there. Yay.

Definitely a better showing than last month’s 40.39, I feel like actual progress has been made.  Which is good because I signed up for the New York marathon lottery, which means that sometime in July I will find out if I can run in the New York Marathon which means that I will now have to start training for a marathon…because it takes all of summer and all of fall to prepare for that shit.  So Friday nights out are off the table once again starting with tonight, have a 9-miler to hit in the morning.  Joy.

I also still need that back-up marathon to enter now in case I don’t get into NY.  Am thinking Marine Corps*, basically because I can sell my number later if need be. Anyone got any better ideas?

In other news, remember when I was complaining about Alan Schwartz of Baseball Today? Well, I got him fired.  I am probably lying about that, but he really is no longer the host of the show and I like to believe that I can wield that kind of power.  In his place they put in Peter Pascarelli, who took over the host position this past Tuesday.  Now, I’ll give him a pass for a while, seeing as he is new, but he really needs to learn not to “poof” his “p”s and “b”s on the mic. Tre annoying!  Also, Schwartz was freakin’ Chris Rock compared to Pascarelli who comes across like a CPA or a lawyer trying to make jokes, they just fall flat and sound ridiculously nerdy.  Let’s hope he finds a groove and relaxes a little, baseball is a long season.

*Please have better ideas, Marine Corps registration is closed now too.  Harumph.  I guess I can try ot pick up a bib number later in the summer if I don’t get into NY – MCM is one of the few races that does legal bib switches.  Guess I need to start thinking about smaller races…

I love baseball, but c’mon!

Dear Baseball Today,

Please stop mentioning the Wild Card race, it’s May for eff’s sake!  There is no Wild Card race now. You know why there is no Wild Card race at this time?  Because in order for there to be a Wild Card, the teams getting into the playoffs have to be all-but-decided. But guess what? It’s May. Nothing is decided. Well, maybe it’s decided that the Nationals, the Reds, the Royals and the Devil Rays suck. But other than that, it’s still pretty much up for grabs and for that reason you should just stop, until at least July and even then you’d be pushing it. I mean I know, I know, baseball is a statitician’s sport and for that reason there will always be data telling us how far back our teams are at any given moment, but seriously! Oh, also, while I’m at it, please tell Alan Schwarz that he is not funny. His jokes are lame at best, but mostly just not at all humorous, so he should stop and just stick to the facts.

I will still download you and listen to you during each afternoon commute, but mostly for your expert guests and not at all for the unfunny Alan who likes to mention the Wild Card race twice in one podcast in May. That is, unless you feel the need to continue with this insanity or unless Alan’s jokes get worse, there’s really only so much a girl can take.

Sincerely,

Baby “The Twins are always in it” Banana