Mmm, yeah…right there

It’s a sad state of affairs when the only action you are getting these days is from your seamstress.

I’ve never had to get a dress taken in around the boobular region before, I just tend to…ahem…fill out that area naturally.  But I have this little black Laundry dress that was a must-purchase even though it didn’t quite fit properly ($35 on the sale rack at Loehmann’s, I KNOW!) .  I didn’t know what was wrong with the fit exactly, other than something just seemed off. So I brought it to my seamstress (i.e. the dry cleaning lady across the street from my office) and asked her to look at it (on me) and fix it.  Taking half a glance at me she starts to tug around my chest and says:

“Too big in chest, I take in. 1/2 inch. No, 1 inch. Each side.”

What? I am too small up top for this dress that fits me perfectly every where else?  I don’t get it.  This never happens.  Sometimes things don’t work on my hips or if they do then the waist is too big or I am too short and I need inches and inches hemmed off the bottom…but I’ve never not filled out the chest area! I tried to argue with her.  She replies by tugging and cupping and pulling and pinching while muttering, “Too big. Take in.”.

So that’s that. She’s taking it in. And I got felt up in the process.
(Which is the most action I’ve seen in nearly two months).